


[Catradora] Be prepared

by Josilion



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Adora/Catra is Canon (She-Ra), Catra (She-Ra) Leaves the Horde, Catra (She-Ra) Needs a Hug, Catra (She-Ra) Redemption, Disk Drunk | Infected Adora (She-Ra), F/F, Female Protagonist, Lesbian Adora (She-Ra), Lesbian Catra (She-Ra), Minor Adora/Catra (She-Ra), POV Adora (She-Ra), POV Catra (She-Ra), Past Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Poor Catra (She-Ra), Princess Adora (She-Ra)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-12-15
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:07:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 39,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24359308
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Josilion/pseuds/Josilion
Summary: Catra is hurt that Adora left her and the Horde behind. She left a gap that is hard to fill. Even if Catra wanted to hate her she couldn't. Shadow Weaver supports Catra where she can but it turns out to be a bad decision of her.Same for Adora. Adora can't just forget the time Catra and her spent together. Glimmer and Bow stand by her side no matter what happens. She meets a lot of People by time.In the first moment It's hard for both of them and doesn't matter how hard they try to ignore it, they just can't, but eventually things turned out to be not like they imagined.
Relationships: Adora/Catra (She-Ra), Bow/Glimmer (She-Ra)
Comments: 20
Kudos: 81





	1. Just anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra takes Adoras betrayal very personal and now she doesn't know what she is supposed to do, when someone gives her the best chance she could have ever gotten.

**Catra**

> * * *

I was sitting on my bed, which was suppose to be our bed. But now this bed feels just empty without her. _How could she do this to me? Why did I always have to search for the thrill and fly with her in this stupid forest? And now... she's gone... she just switched sides, as if it was nothing._

_All she left here is a gap. Both in my heart and in this place. I wonder how she feels right now. Is she sad? Is she happy? does she miss me? I would like to know that, so that i could see her face, when she sees my pain and disappointment._

_Actually I don't know what to do right now_. I looked over my shoulder to the drawing her and I sketched, when we were like 8 years old. My hand flew over the drawing and then anger overcame me.

_How? How could she just left me behind? We were best friends. She was the only thing that didn't suck as much as everything else in this place._

I raised my hand. Ready to destroy the memory we made with this drawing. But as longer as I held up my hand the harder it was to do it. I just couldn't do it. _Damn it.. what's wrong with me?_ I stood up and cleaned my uniform from dirt of the ground with my hands. I tried to breath evenly and calm down for a second. I knew from now on, I had to protect myself.

What Adora did to me showed me that I could only trust myself. I would never rely on somebody again . Why does everything have to be so shitty? I was just about to cry when shadow weaver entered the room and said my name out loud.

"Yes shadow weaver?" I asked trying to hold back my emotions. "I've heard that Adora won't come back to the horde because she joined the rebellion?" she said concerned. "Well I guess we're both disappointed" I assumed. "I am actually not really surprised. Adora has always been like this. I just tried to make her a real horde soldier" she said with an emotionless face. "By erasing her memory every time she figured out that we're actually the 'bad guys'" I said.

"I did what i had to. She was good in what she did. Besides Bad is subjective" she said. "Whatever you say Weaver. But why exactly are you here?" I asked a bit confused. "Right... I just wanted to tell you now that Adora is gone and was supposed to be second in command horde soldier that you should take her position" she said. I was surprised that she offered that to me. "I won't disappoint you weaver" I basically said not wanting her to see my confused expression. "Ok then follow me I'll show you your new room" she said pointing me to follow her. "Why do I get a new room? Isn't that unnecessary?" I said.

"Actually no. I know you don't sleep very well with all this other strangers in a room. So I figured you would like to have your privacy" she said opening the door to a room, which was actually pretty big. "I thought you hated me. How come that you're so nice to me?" i asked. " I'll admit, that I preferred Adora a bit. But mostly because she don't cause so much trouble like you. But now that she's gone I'll put all my hopes in you. I didn't hate you Catra. You actually remind me of myself. We had to fight for what we want to reach and that makes us strong. Keep that in mind" she said and left my new room.

I was flabbergasted about her words. _This was the first time she were actually nice to me_. Kind of sad but in this moment I recognized how much I stood in adoras shadow. _How things can change everything in one moment. A few moments before I was shattered, sad, angry, mad and broken, but now i feel like I can really reach something. Without Adora. I don't need her to prove that I am strong. And I am going to show her this._

 _I hope we see each other on the battlefield Adora. Be prepared for the next steps_. I sat down on my bed and looked at the badge shadow weaver gave me for my position as second in command. I smiled. But this time it was real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So Guys welcome to my Story... I literally have no idea how this platform works yet so I am just going to figure that out. If you have any tips or tricks please tell me I could really use the help. I hope they story is nice to read so far. I mean it is the first chapter so far and its really short, but the next ones will be longer I promise. Well whatever I hope you enjoyed reading it so far. Leave a like... if that is a thing here I don't know lmao.
> 
> Josi out!
> 
> Twitter:  
> https://twitter.com/Josilion?s=09


	2. New environment

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora is in her new environment but nevertheless she starts to doubt herself and her recent actions. Glimmer is there to help.

**Adora**

* * *

_What just happened today? I kind of betrayed my old home and all my friends there. Especially her. Oh god... what have I done?_

Those were the questions I was asking myself for the last few hours. Since the fight in Thaymor.   
This hurt look in her eyes broke me. But I had no choice. If I want to do the right Thing, I had to join the rebellion.

Catra didn't know what she was into there. I have to stop the horde. Have to stop Catra before anything bad happens to her and everybody else.   
_What does she think of me now? Probably that I am her worst enemy right now. She probably hates me. Otherwise she could've joined the rebellion with me, but she decided against it. Be separated from her like that was really hard. I just had to remind that she hated me now. She was my enemy now. I can't let my emotions overcome me. If i want to change something i have to let go right? I don't even know how I'm supposed to sleep. I was used to Catra sleeping on the end of my feet. This is going to be a rough time I thought._

I stood up and walked over to the always opened window. _At least the view is beautiful_. Unlike in the Fright zone, I could see some vegetation and big trees. I took a deep breath to calm down and sort my thoughts. Then I looked up in the sky. The Fright zone told me once that we were in a universe without stars. 

_Stars...I wonder what this is and what it looks like. The only thing I know was that they're in the sky_.

I stood there for like 20 minutes longer just thinking what my next step was going to be. _From what I knew, Catra would want instant revenge for what I just did to her. But I didn't really know if they would let her do this. Probably not. But I was sure that we could expect an attack any time soon. I just hope that I learn fast how to cope with this Shera thing._

And as I thought about it my Look slid to my left where my sword was. I picked it up and held it in my hands wondering what secrets it hides. I was positiv about this whole thing, but if I really wanted to control this I had to go to the First ones ruins. Or this crazy Lady I met in the woods. I forgot her name though. 

I put the sword at its place and sat down on my bed. It was too comfy for my taste and way to fluffy. _How could anybody sleep in this?_ I decided to pick up every pillow and put it on the ground. Then I picked up the blankets and voila my self-made bed was made. 

I laid down and looked to the ceiling. _Here we go this was going to be a long night without sleep_. Just with that thought I tried to sleep by closing my eyes. Much to my suffering, because I didn't sleep a single minute. _Wow I Didn't thought it would be that hard actually_.

Well this was not the first time I stayed up 2 full days.   
Back in the Fright zone we had some training schedule, which made me stay awake at least 3 days in a week. Totally not healthy but it made me who I am. A physically strong woman. I stood up and walked towards the mirror. I didn't even looked that shitty. 

I had some dark circles under my eyes but nothing that would look totally like a disaster. I started getting ready for the meeting with the queen and my new... friends? _I don't really now what I should call them but they seem okay._  
I brushed my hair and changed my clothes to my basic uniform which includes my red jacket and my brown pants with my red and white boots. I washed my face a little and slapped my cheeks so I didn't look like a total mess. I grabbed my sword and was just about to walk out of my room as Glimmer scared me to death by teleporting right to my side. 

"Oh my god Glimmer you better don't do that again or I do something out of reflex" I said but cracked a little smile. "Sorry I forgot that you're not used to this" she simply said smiling back at me. "I just wanted to pick you up so you don't get lost in the castle" she said starting to walk. 

I looked after her but started to catch up to her in a bit. "So you know what's going to happen?" I asked. "Apparently no, my mother don't talk with me much about this kind of stuff because she thinks I'm too young or she is just afraid that somethings going to happen to me, which I can totally understand but it gets annoying you know" she said and sighted. 

"Well I can't really relate I don't have parents or a family like you call that kind of relationship. The only 'Family' I had was back in the horde" I said shrugging. "Well you don't have to worry about that anymore because we're your family now. And I'm sure you will get used to everything in no time" she said with optimism and a big smile.   
"I guess I have to thank you for that... I mean like I really appreciate what you and your folks are doing for me it's pretty risky though" I said and looked her in the eyes.

"Please don't thank us... anybody would have done this. Besides I think your a good person and we really need you on our side to fight back the horde. Otherwise Bright moon and other empires have no chance to live peacefully" she said stopping right in front of a big golden double door. I felt my heart pounding very fast.  
"Here we go. Everything will be fine. And if not I'm on your side" Glimmer said smiling.

I was really thankful for her calming words and smiled back at her before taking a deep breath and entering the big bright room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second chapter guys. As I promised the chapter was longer. Still short...but hopefully good. Anyways I hope you liked it. The story itself is already very long and I uploaded it on Wattpad already, but I wanted to upload it here as well just so I have a greater range. If anything in the story is like grammatically wrong tell me I'll fix it. I hope you guys have a nice day!
> 
> Josi out!
> 
> Twitter:  
> https://twitter.com/Josilion?s=09


	3. Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra and her new companion are exploring some enemy territory. While they're doing this they're causing a loud scenery. Did someone saw them?

**Catra**

* * *

Well it was my first night alone... like really alone. Without her and without anyone. I did'nt get much sleep. None to be exact.

_Wow I felt so confidence about forgetting her and start a new life yesterday. And now it felt like I missed her more than ever. What was wrong with me? I usually had no problem with hating other people, why is it so hard to hate her though?_

I ignored the thoughts and stood up. I looked at my bed and then I recognized, that I slept at the end of the feet like usual.

 _Wow_...

I shook my head and turned away embarrassed. I took a deep breath and went to my locker-room, where my clothes were. I picked my normal uniform, which was like a red suit. I slipped in my clothes and I wondered why they had to make these uniforms so damn tight.

Not that I didn't fit in, it's just that I feel very uncomfortable in it. I've always did. But I didn't complain because it obviously had a reason. You can fight better with it because you're more flexible.

I looked in the mirror. My face expression was emotionless. But inside of it was a tornado. I was always good in keeping my emotions to myself. One reason that Adora never knew what I actually felt for her. I looked up to my forehead where my metal Hairband was, which kept my hairs at its place. I never undressed it. I always wore it. I was ready to start the day.

I put all my emotions back inside my mind, where they wouldn't escape for a while. I opened my door and walked down the hallway. There was actually a meeting right now, but I decided not to go. They wouldn't even talk about something important anyways. I was about to walk in Shadow weavers place instead.

When I opened the door I saw Shadow Weaver touching the black garnet for gaining power, like she always did. "Aren't you supposed to be at a meeting right now?" she asked not even surprised Catra appeared in her place without asking. "I'm sure they do great without me. Besides I wanted to talk to you about something" I said. " Well I hope you make it fast because I don't have the time right now. I'm expecting someone actually" she said in her usual unfriendly tone.

 _That's what I was used to shadow weaver talking to me_. _I almost prefer this over the act she gave me yesterday....almost._ But i wouldn't admit that. "Well I was curious... what are we going to do about Adora. We know that she can transform in some 8 feet tall woman with some strong powers. I bet she doesn't even know how strong she actually is. The rebellion is vulnerable right now. Adora does not know how to actually use the weapon yet. We should use this chance to attack don't you think?" I asked full of hope that she agrees.

"Well you're right. They are vulnerable... but wouldn't that be to fast? don't you think that they're expecting us to attack them right now? I don't think that this is going to be a good idea. Besides I think Hordak won't agree with your revengeplans" She said and turned her back to me. "Well there are always two sides of thinking about this...maybe they think it would be to obvious for us to attack them at this time and then they're not prepared for us when we do attack them. We have to risk it otherwise Adora gets too strong by the time. We can't just give them time to recover. If we want to success we must take that chance" I said gesturing with my hands.

She just sighted, slowly turning to face me. "Listen I know you're mad and maybe sad about Adora leaving the horde, but don't let your emotions take control of your actions. Your actions should always be taken with care and not on a whim. That's what we teached you back then. I totally understand you, but you have to set priorities now. Understand?" she said seriously. I repeated her words in my head.

 _Not on a whim_.

Even when I thought I could control my emotions, they found a way to manipulate my sight of things. Shadow weaver was right. Even if I wanted to bust Adoras ass, I can't just risk my sources just to satisfy my needs. And I couldn't drag others in this mess. This was just between me and Adora.

I nodded and said "Yes shadow weaver...you're right". Even if I had to admit that she was right I was still sad, that my plan won't happen. "Don't look so sad. They probably know we will attack them. But what makes it more funny is that they don't know when we will. And that, my dear Catra, is what really makes them crazy and careless. They may have time to recover now, but so have we. Always look on the good sides. That makes you strong. " she said putting her hand on my shoulder. "I'm glad I came here to talk to you" I said and smiled a bit.

Since she's wearing a mask I couldn't really tell if she is happy or mad. But I hoped that she sees me in another light. Where I could be like her daughter, just like Adora always was. _Maybe that's why she treated me like this. Maybe she just wanted someone, who can replace Adoras position. I'm actually glad I took this position. I didn't know why, but it felt comfortable_.

Just when I was about to say something, the doors opened and a tall woman, who looked like a scorpion entered the room. She had scorpion-like hands? _Was I even allowed to call them that? Well I didn't judge...I was a cat. But I preferred feline_.

She kind of looked frightening to me but I wouldn't show it. Firstly she looked at shadow weaver and saluted, but then her look slid to me and her eyes widened. I looked confused around me to figure out if she was really looking at me or at something else. "Since you're already here Catra may I introduce you to your new partner Scorpia. Scorpia this is Catra. I hope you'll get along." she said and looked at us alternately.

Before I could say a word, Scorpia walked in my direction and said "I'm very optimistic about this. I think we will be great friends. And you should know one thing about me". Now she stood right I front of me and I had to look up to see her in the face. I gave her a questioning look. Just in the second she lifted me up with her arms around me. "I am a great hugger" she said and tightened her grip just when I wanted to push her away from me.

"Did you ever hear the words personal space. Get the f*ck off of me!" I shouted. I didn't even know her. How could someone be so open up to people they didn't even know? After a few seconds I escaped from her grip and tried to gain as much distance as possible from her. "Now that you got to know each other I want you to go on a little mission" Shadow weaver said.

 _She wanted me to go on a mission with her? Oh hell no. I'm not going to do that. This girl is way to clingy_.

Some time later

_I can't believe shadow weaver made me go on this mission with Scorpia! I didn't know why shadow weaver thought I would need a new partner anyways. This was so stupid_.

I looked to my right were Scorpia was. _How could somebody possibly be so happy all the time?_ Scorpia was whistling some kind of melody I didn't know. As long as she kept the distance I didn't mind her whistling. Shadow weaver sent us out in the whispering woods, so that we can at least enlarge our horizon of routes we're going to take, when we attack Bright moon.

Actually, this is dirty work, but in this case I didn't complain. Mostly because I wanted to leave the Fright zone at least for a couple hours. Just breathing some clean air. "How come that we never met before? I mean sure the Fright zone is big, but not that big" she asked after she stopped whistling. I hoped she wouldn't talk to me, but my wishes never came true.

But I didn't wanted to be rude and besides she seemed actually nice. "Well I guess we never met because we didn't payed attention to such things" I said shrugging. "That's a pity. You seem pretty cool even when you're a bit scratchy sometimes" she said honest. My eyes widened. "What is that supposed to mean exactly?" I said in a angry way. "I didn't want to insult you with that. It's just... you're pretty harsh sometimes" she confirmed. "So?" I asked not knowing what she wants from me.

She looked at me confused but then her expression changed in her normal smile. "Actually...Nevermind" she said. I just shrugged again and we walked further in the woods. But this time Scorpia didn't start whistling again. But it was better anyways. We had to stay unseen and trying not to attract any attention. I guess that's why she stopped in the first place.

We were too near to Bright moon. "From here it will be dangerous, so stay quiet and try not to make loud noises, understood?" I asked. "Got it" she simply said. _At least she is cooperative_. From there we started walking slowly and almost on our tip toes. We were walking a really long time. Scorpia and I started to split a bit up so we had a bigger range.

I was so immersed in my surroundings that I didn't pay attention to what was in front of me. So it happened what had to happen. My next step went into the emptiness of a gorge.. And there was nothing to hold on. From what I had seen the gorge was pretty deep and dark. Just when I thought this fall was going to be my end and I let out a loud scream, someone grabbed me by the tail.

It was very hurting, but not as much as it would have been when I would have felt down the gorge. The person lifted me up back to the ground and started apologizing almost immediately. "I'm so sorry Catra I just saw you were about to fall and I just grabbed what I reached first" bubbled out of her. "Scorpia!" I almost shouted. She stopped talking and looked at me.

"Thank you" I said and let out a relived breath. She was about to say something, but I cut her off, "We should head back. We caused some loud scenery and it would be way too risky to continue this" I said. "Yeah you probably right...anyway we explored enough to plan some routes" she agreed. I nodded and we made our way back to the Firghtzone, but making sure nobody has followed or either seen us.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Third chapter. I am going to upload this three chapters for now and I am going to see how they turn out. I will definitely upload more chapters, but for now these three will make it. I hope you like it. If anybody will ever read this, that is. So whether you liked it or not, you can leave a comment or whatever below to give me some critics or so. I hope you have a nice day.
> 
> Josi out!
> 
> Twitter:  
> https://twitter.com/Josilion?s=09


	4. She-ra

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora doesn't know how to cope with the situation, so she went for a little walk. She didn't expect to see what she saw and neither to meet a certain Lady. But as she returned from her very confusing trip she is surprised by people in her room.

> **Adora**

* * *

Well at least they accepted me as She-ra. As long as I didn't do anything stupid they said they would just keep an eye on me. I mean I could understand them I was an ex-horde soldier and now I decided to switch the sides all of the sudden. I guess this She-ra thing convinced them more than everything else did. 

Glimmer and Bow really saved my ass in there. They covered pretty good. I owed them big time. Even if I was not really sure, if they did this to save their kingdom or because they thought I were really a nice person. I couldn't blame them. 

I just felt kind of lost in this situation. I was concerned about what the hordes next step would be and I felt not save in this castle, when everybody would keep an eye on me because they didn't trust me yet. 

I went into my room and put the sword down at its place. I leaned against the window and looked outside. I didn't know why I was always going for the window, but I guess it's because I can relax there. Glimmer and Bow said they would not disturb me for today because they just wanted me to settle in and get used to this environment.   
I was really grateful for it.

I looked in the whispering Woods. _That's where everything started_. _I wonder what would have happened if we didn't flew in there that day. Would we still be together? Probably_.

I decided spontaneously to go in the Whispering Woods. _Maybe I'll meet this Lady again_. _She helped me once and maybe she knew more about... well me?_  
I couldn't just walk out of the castle that casual, so I decided to take a short cut right out of the window. But not without the sword. I had a strong feeling that I barely will go at places without it from now on.

Since it wasn't that high, the fall didn't hurt much. As I landed I immediately looked to me left and right.   
I didn't want to get caught at my first day they wanted to start gaining trust towards me, so I just wanted to be sure nobody sees me. As everything was clear I rushed in the Woods as fast as I could. I didn't exactly knew were I have to search but I didn't mind getting away from this hustle. 

While I walked in the forest I began to wonder why no animals lived in there and if so they would be like those very creepy robot things. I was pretty sure there were more animals than just the horse I saw the day before.   
Since I grew up in the horde I were so nervous about touching the horse. I've never touched one before, but I was glad I did. It was some experience I'd like to repeat.

After a long time I began to gain some worries that I was never going to meet that woman again. _I have to find her_.

She was the only one who could offer her help with She-ra to me. I was desperate.   
My feet alerted me to make a short pause and that's what I did. _A little break wouldn't hurt, would it?_

I laid down in the gras, my sword beside my side. _Why won't work at least one thing I set in my mind_. _Maybe I should go further in the forest to find her?_ It would have been a bad Idea for me, since I didn't know the forest that well. 

Even if I wasn't even that far away from Bright moon I shouldn't take the risk. When I was about to head back to Bright moon I noticed a scream. I was pretty sure that this was not a sound produced by an animal or anything else.   
This must have been a human. I wanted to figure out where it came from but there was no noise anymore.

After a short time I heard someone talking very fast and loud. I took this chance to locate the owner of that voice.   
It was kind of a hot and cold game. But then someone shouted a name and I located them. I only heard their voices until I pushed a few leaves from a bush out of my sight. There were two persons who sat on the gras talking to each other. 

It looked like they were out of breath. I couldn't make out who they were until I gave them a closer look. I was trying to hold back a gasp. _What was she doing here with that Scorpion girl?_ I felt an urge to just walk over to her, but I couldn't do that anymore.

Mostly because there was a gorge between us and secondly because we were enemies.   
I stayed in my hideaway just to see what they were about to do. I couldn't hear anything even if I really tried to. "...head back...loud scenery...risky to continue this" was everything I heard Catra say. "...probably right...anyway...plan some..." The girl beside her said or at least from what I've heard.

_I should have visit the classes for lip reading back in the horde damn it._

I watched the whole scenery even when they already left. What I didn't noticed was that some tears were streaming down my cheeks. I was crying silent and with no motion. I just felt empty. I was sure the horde sent them, so they're going to be prepared what comes when they entering this forest. I mean I already knew Catra would move on and plan to attack me. 

But nevertheless it hurt badly. I was sure Catra was at least as much as hurt as I was, but unlike me, she has always been able to stay professional or keeping her emotions in her head. I always admired her for that even if I never actually said that in her face. 

Suddenly a woman's voice appeared near by. I jumped back and switched in my defense position. But as soon as I did, I returned to my normal position as soon as I saw who was facing me. "Hello there... you seem upset want any help?" she asked me with a concerned look on her face. 

"Does it sound crazy when I say I was hoping to meet you?" I said desperate but with a slight smile on my face. "No, not really i was expecting you anyways" she said turning her back to me. "but how would you know I would come here today?" I questioned. "Leave that to me young Lady" she said and started walking away from me.

I stared at her.   
"Hey wait! Who are you?" I asked when I finally reached her. _Damn compared to her age she is pretty fast_. "Call me Razz" she simply said walking further. "Okay?...Madame Razz who are you exactly....I mean beside your name?" I asked. "I think that is not important right now, but what is, is that you have gained a great amount of power, which is 1000 years old...and I'm very sure it has to do with this sword you're carrying with you" she said pointing at my sword. 

"How do you know so much about all of this?" I just asked. There were so much questions in my head I wanted to ask her. "I'm way older than I look young lady" she said. I was holding back a question, which would probably come out as a insult to her. _But how could she possibly be older than she looks I mean she already looks very old?_  
"I know what you're thinking. You're confused about my age aren't you?" she looked at me. "Just a bit" I said smiling. "I will explain everything when the time comes... you just have to be patient" she said walking again.

"It's not my strength if I'm being honest" I laughed.   
"That's what you have to learn first about your new power. You can't just expect everything to work at first try. You have to try over and over again. None She-ra has been able to get all the skills so easily. You have to work for it and you will have to learn a lot about you and She-ra" she explained. "So you know how all of this works?" I said pointing at my sword. "I can't teach you how to fight, darling. I'm just an old woman, remember. The only thing I can teach you is how you get stronger mentally, as much with the sword as without" she explained further. 

"So that means what exactly? I'm sorry It's just... I am kind of new in this. I just figured out I have to leave my old home and friends to protect the universe because we were actually the 'bad guys'. I didn't even knew about all of this. Everything went down so fast and now there is war. I don't know what to do" I said placing my head in my palms.   
"Oh darling, you don't have to be sorry for anything. I can feel regret inside of you. The most Important thing about being She-ra is that you have to believe in yourself. You have to get rid of these regrets and all the negative emotions. Before you try to save the universe you should try fix yourself first" She said taking my handy in hers. 

"How am I supposed to do that? There are so much things I can't forget" I said desperately. "You have to come to terms with your feelings. You have to learn that your the owner of your body and of your emotions. Don't let them control you." she said. "I can't do it alone" I said.   
"Who said you have to do it alone? You will have some supportive friends back in Bright moon who will always stick around you, but you can always come to me instead. I'll be there if you truly need me." she said as she walked further in the forest slowly vanishing out of my sight. 

"Wait how am I suppose to find you in this forest!?" I shouted. "You'll always find me" I heard. I stood there just staring at my hands and not knowing how I was supposed to cope with that. But I felt hope coming up. I should listen to her words instead of sinking deeper in my depression. _She was right.. If i really wanted to change anything I should start with me first. No one would need an emotional wrack in a fight against the horde. Me neither. So it's time for a change._

I repeated these words over and over again until they have burned into my head. I was so in thoughts, I didn't recognized that I was back in Bright moon. I looked around me and saw some guards walking towards the entry.   
I sneaked around some trees and got save under my window. The only question was. _How was I supposed to get up there?!_ My look slide to my surroundings to find something I could use.

I had a plan. 

I used some material like sticks and a rope, which laid around, to build a hook. Since I already used this tool back I the horde to get to her and my favorite place, I didn't suck totally at it and even hit my window at second try. 

After an amount of hard work pulling me up, I finally got the sim of my window to pull me up inside my room. Just after a few seconds, as I looked up, I realized I wasn't alone in my room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter four guys. I am still very confused about all of this stuff here. Mostly because I am not a native English speaker and secondly I am used to write on Wattpad and that is a whole other world. But I'll get the hang of it in no time so yeah. I really hope you like the chapters so far. As I always say, write me a comment or critics below. And leave kudos if you think the chapter was nice. Anyways I wish you a great day!
> 
> Josi out!
> 
> Twitter:  
> https://twitter.com/Josilion?s=09


	5. Memory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra is still trying to recover from the hurt inside of her. While she does that she pushes others away and tries to blow off some steam, when suddenly Shadow Weaver makes a terrifying suggestion...

**Catra**

* * *

When we arrived at the Frightzone, Scorpia and I notified Shadow weaver the routes we could take. Shadow weaver thanked us and started to walk in the direction of Hordaks laboratory? Even though I grew up here and spent most of my life in here I was never in Hordaks place. 

Soldiers like us weren't allowed to. I didn't know why though. "What now?" Scorpia questioned. "What do you mean, what know?" I asked back. "Well our mission is done and we have plenty of time until we'll get our food for dinner" she said smiling. "I assume this is a suggestion to do something together?" I said confused.   
"Exactly...what you say?" she asked. "Don't take it personal, but I want some space right now... you know since I almost died today and all what's going on" I said.

Her expression went from happy to sad almost immediately, but as soon as it came, as soon it was gone, so she started to nod and gave me a little smile, but this time It looked more fake.   
"Oh yeah.. I get that totally... well then get some rest... maybe we see each other later" she said while turning and waving goodbye. I just stood there and waved back, but she couldn't see it because she was already gone. I returned back to my room. I sat in my bed and looked at the ceiling. 

_Whatever you were doing in the forest, I wished I could've seen you. Just one last look, one last hug one la... damned Adora, why do you have to be at the same places as me. Even when you're not even here, you're always present. And even when I couldn't see you in the forest I knew you saw me, but you didn't do anything._

I tried telling me it was better this way but it wasn't. I couldn't tell what would have happened if she would have came out of her hideout. Maybe I would've tried to fight her just to feel a little more close to her. 

That reminds me of how we always fought back when we were teens. Our professional fighting sessions with our tools always ended up in some very close bodyfights. I didn't mind and neither did she. It was just our thing I guess.

_Was it even normal to think about a person this much! Why did I feel ashamed. I'm my own boss and nobody could tell me what to think. It was totally normal to think 24/7 about your ex-best friend, wasn't it? Aghh I hated her being in my mind. I should start coping with this situation better. All this just hinders me to think clear. When I was going to fight the Rebellion I was going to fight Adora too and I couldn't do that when I was still so vindictive about all of this. Adora was gone so start to fucking move on._

I needed something to punch. All my emotions had piled up and now I had to let them out somehow. Before I went out of my room, I changed into my training clothes and took some bandages for my hands. After that I went straight into the training area. There were not much people.   
I don't know anyone here. Perhaps at most from the look out. But I didn't paid much attention to them I just wanted to punch something. In this case it would be a punching bag on the other side of the room. 

I walked over to them and sat down on the bank, which stood beside it. I started bandaging my hands and wrists to stabilize them and not get unnecessary injuries. After I did that, I put my boxing gloves on, but the flat ones. I focused on my target towards me. Everything was so frustrating. 

_Adora leaving me._

Bam

_Being in war._

Bam

_Feeling lonely._

Bam

_Feeling betrayed._

Bam

 _The sudden emotion chaos I was in._

Bam. 

I got faster with every thought and punch. I eventually removed the gloves and started punching again. With every punch I got angrier and my punches got stronger too. My breath got unevenly and I felt sweat and tears streaming down my face. 

I crouched down and took my hands in front of my face. I was about to scream, when suddenly Shadow Weaver appeared right next to me. As soon as possible I stood upright, straightened my training uniform and wiped away my Tears, so she wouldn't see what I was doing.   
"You don't have to pretend you coming with me now!" she said in a command tone. I wanted to speak up, but I couldn't because I had a lump in my throat from crying. If I would've said something it would've came out sobbing.

She kind of teleported aus with her weird shadow magic she always used.   
I got a bit scared because she looked super pissed. "Did I do something wrong, or what" I tried to pretend like I was totally chill with the situation. "You know you were always good at hiding your emotions, since in the horde it is considered as weak and obstructing. But even you can't handle this situation all by yourself." she said. "I do perfectly fine" I spit. 

"You don't. Even a blind could see that" she spit back. I sighed loud. "And now?" I questioned pissed. "Look there is a lot of pressure on you right now, with the war and Adora and all this, but its important for you to stay in line. You're now second in command, you have duties and you can't walk around like a emotional ball, who will explode anytime" she said looking at me. 

"So what exactly am I suppose to do. I can't just erase my memory and be like a total new person" I shout. She was silent and kept looking at me. After nobody said something, I remembered something. "Ohhhh" I just said.   
"That is the only way to take that pain away from you! You're our best soldier and we need you in this fight. I was trying other ways, but it didn't worked." she explained. "Which ways?" I asked confused. 

"I paired you up with Scorpia, so you can get your mind off of Adora. And no I didn't told Scorpia something. I just knew she is a very positive soldier and always happy, even though I don't know why. I thought she would be a good influence on you. But you kind of pushed her away" she explained further. I stood there in shook for a moment. 

"Why are you even trying to help me I don't get why you always trying to make me feel better. Why don't you just let me be. You didn't care then, why would you care now?" I screamed. "Because I'm not going to let that happen to you too!" she shouts back. "What do you mean to me and too?" I asked confused. " This is the second time this is happening. Only with other people. Please hear me on, when I say this will be for your own good" she said. 

"I don't know what your talking about" I shout slowly losing my patience. "It doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is that when I don't do something now, it will have bad consequences for all of us" She said. "Ok I got it I have to stay in line so we all going to be happy" I said eventually.   
"No that's not it. It won't work, if you just say it. It doesn't matter what you saying about Adora. You could say you hate her and it would be the worst lie. We both now this is the only way!" she said putting her hands on my shoulders. 

"So you're just erasing my memories. Everything me and Adora been through. I will forget everything, like I never met her. She would be just my enemy?" I asked almost crying. "You won't forget her. She would just be somebody you barely knew and that she switched the sides. The two of you used met each other in the hall way sometimes, when you were about to go to training and that's it. You never talked, never got to know each other in the first place." She explained. 

I was disgusted. _That was not what I want_. _That was not the way to handle this. I didn't want to forget her or remember her like shadow weaver explained. I want to cope with my feelings and not forget them._

"No that ain't going to happen. That's not how I want to remember her. I will find a way to cope with it but not like this" I said shouting and turning away from her to walk as fast as I could out of this place. 

But she had other plans with me. The last thing I felt was an electroshock and shadow weavers apologizing face. "Sorry but I can't let that happen again". Then my eyes closed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter five is online now. Still trying to figure out, but I am on it. I hope this chapter is good. If there is any problem with the story please tell me about it. I am actually very confused that the story has already been read. This website is probably just very big I guess. Whatever thank you for the kudos and all. I hope you have a nice day!
> 
> Josi out!
> 
> Twitter:  
> https://twitter.com/Josilion?s=09


	6. New acquaintance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora comes back from her trip just to be surprised by her new allies Bow and Glimmer. They're trying to squeeze the information out of her and eventually end up telling the queen about the events. But now Adora feels like she can finally move on from her past...

**Adora**

* * *

I thought I had at least some rest after I came back from my little trip, but no. Suddenly two silhouettes were about to slap the shit out of me. But I was fast enough to make a move and say something. "Hey, hey guys its me!" I shouted almost. 

"Omg Adora, Bow and I were about to beat you!" She said relieved. "I'm very glad you didn't... why were you in my room anyways?" I questioned. "Well why weren't you is the better question" she said placing a hand on her hip and raised an eyebrow. Bow just stood there looking at me. I sighed.   
"I can't really lie to you guys... It's just...I wanted some fresh air. Like you said it's a bit uncomfortable here for me since everybody kind of hates me besides you" I explained.

"We understand that... but you can't just sneak out like this. What if somebody saw you?" she asked. "Nobody had seen me. I was careful." I said to calm them.   
"Well I hope your right. But now I'm concerned. Where were you exactly. I mean you were away a long time" Bow said for the first time. "How long did you know, that I was gone?" I asked confused.

"Pretty right after the meeting, when we told you to leave you alone. We went back to your room half an hour later just to make sure your okay. And then you were gone. And since we didn't wanted to make everybody nervous about you being not in your room, we just stayed her and waited for you to come back." Bow said.   
"Wow I'm glad you have so much trust in me, that really means much to me" I said. They gave me a warm smile and I continued to talk.

"Well I actually had no 'goal' I wanted to reach, but I said to myself I would search for a person, who I met one time before. And don't freak out guys. She is a kind, old and helpful person. She knows something about all this She-ra stuff and I knew this, so I wanted to find her. And I did, but there is something more important I must tell you" I said looking down. 

They waited for me to explain. "When I was searching for this old woman, I came across somebody else." I said but stopped because I didn't know if I should tell them about her. "Go on Adora... we'll listen" Glimmer said. I nodded and continued. "I saw some horde soldier. Two to be exact not far away from here" I said out loud. Bow and Glimmer were looking at each other in shock. 

"What happened? Did they saw you? Do you know them? Are they still in the Whispering Woods?" Bow asked. "Calm down... They're not longer there. I didn't know what they were doing there and they were just about to leave when I spotted them. I think they didn't recognized me. I was in a hideout, when I tried to figure out what they were doing" I answered hoping this would be enough for them to know. But of course it wasn't. 

"Ok that's something I guess. But could you recognize them? like, did you know them back in the horde?" Bow asked. I was desperate.

_I didn't know them very well._   
_Should I just tell them about me and Catra? It would be great for them to know, since Catra was wearing the second in command badge, when I saw her. So she could make some major decisions now. They trusted me, so I have to start trusting them. Maybe this was the first step for me to look forward._

They saw that I was unsure about it and both of them put one hand on off of my shoulders. "Adora we know this is hard. But if you know something you must tell us about it, otherwise you never get rid of all your negative emotions" Glimmer said. "I know guys. I appreciate it....okay here goes nothing" I said taking a deep breath. 

"Like I said before, there were two soldiers, but I only know one of them. The other one was a girl which looked like a scorpion. She had a scorpion tail and a bit of a exoskeleton on her upper body. I saw her back in the horde a few times, but I had no direct contact with her, but It seemed that she is a second in command as well, according to her badge.... well the other one is another story" I said getting a short break just to sort my thoughts. 

Bow and Glimmer said nothing, they just sat beside me, holding my hands. Bow my left and Glimmer my Right hand. I didn't mind, quite the opposite. I actually needed that in the moment. I took another deep breath. 

_How is it so hard to talk about her? This makes literally no sense right now_.

  
"The other one was my best friend back in the horde. Her names Catra. We grew up together. We knew each other since I can think. Catra and I did everything together. Training, sleeping, eating and so on. We're always staying together. It felt almost like we were meant to be. Every time somebody would bully her because of here eyes or just her feline being, I would beat the shit outta him. I couldn't stand it seeing her sad or anything like this. But then I found the sword in the Whispering Woods. Everything changed since then. You know what happened after me finding the sword, so I don't have to explain that further. I mean yeah everything is seems to lighten up for everybody since great She-ra appeared, but not for me. I had to leave my one and only best friend back there. And just because she is so stubborn, she does not wanted to leave the Horde with me. I do not blame her. We have worked so hard for our position, or at least she has. Well, she has her pride. She wouldn't hurt her pride so easily. But it didn't matter what she said to me, I just couldn't go back to the horde. Everything they did was cruel and I didn't even noticed it. Catra was always the smarter one. She was always so strong and confident. She didn't even need me to protect her and I knew that, but I was afraid, that she would leave me behind when she figures that she so much better than me. And now I lost her completely and I will never get to say what I said to you guys. She will never know what she meant to me. Guys I miss her so much. And now she hates me. She is our enemy and I have to fight her. I need your help" I said crying out what has to be said. 

In the end I said more than I actually wanted. But it was better this way. I could finally tell somebody how I felt this whole time. And it felt good. They didn't even judge me they just gave me a warm embrace while I was crying silently in their arms.   
"No need to be sorry about it. Adora from what I know about you this far, you're a wonderful person. You're just trying to do things right. Everything you did was the right thing. You do this for the right thing. Always remember this. You sacrificed so much for us and we all are glad you took this on you. Maybe it seems like everybody hates you here, but its the exact opposite. They wouldn't admit it though, but they're relived that you showed up. Especially my mother. They just want to test you a bit. Nobody judges you here. The only thing I can't deny is, that you have to come to terms with your emotions towards Catra. It will sound a bit harsh, but here me on. You're a princess now. You're a warrior on the front. You're an essential person in the Rebellion and we need you 100% focused. Catra chose her side. She chose to be in the horde and do these things. It's not on you anymore. You're not responsible for her now... You have to let go as fast as you can" She said calmly slowly rubbing my back. 

With every word she said I felt like crying harder and louder. I couldn't say anything. Her words felt so true and honest. They were sharper than any knife could ever be. But they brought me back in reality a bit.

_I came here to save everyone. Even Catra and the horde from themselves._   
_I didn't came here to cry about my miseries. Catra and I made both our choices and now we have to take the consequences._

The last few minutes we just sat there and nobody would break the silence. "What about we make some bonding moments together. I guess we all could need this now. I already have the best group name ever" Bow told us optimistic.   
Glimmer and I looked at each other and I couldn't resist, so I burst out in a laughter. Glimmer did the same and even Bow couldn't hold back after Glimmer and I rolled over the ground. "Ok Bow I'm curious about our new group name" I said giggling. "Ok you're both ready?" He said mysterious.

  
Both me and Glimmer nodded. "The best friend squad" He said making a gesture with his hands, which is supposed to show us the name. "We are not going to name us like this "Glimmer said .Bow's face went sad. "why not?" he asked. "That's a stupid name" she confirmed. "It's not!" Bow defensed himself.   
"You really want to discuss this now" Glimmer asked raising her eyebrows. Bow sighed and shook his head. "That's what I thought" Glimmer said. "You guys really are something" I said giggling. They both looked at me and smiled. 

"I don't like to disturb this special moment of our best friends group, but we have to tell your mom about what you have sawn in the Whispering Woods, maybe she has some idea what was going on "Bow said. "He's right. This might be some preparation for them to attack us, so we can't hide that from my mom "Glimmer said.   
"Yeah I know, I was about to ask, but we were having so much fun and I didn't want to ruin it" I said basically. "Aww little Adora starts to like us" Bow said while his eyes started to sparkle in some way.

"Don't overdo it Bow. Otherwise you will scare her away. Not like it had happen once" Glimmer said innocently.   
"Can't you just let me be!" He said. But eventually they started laughing and I joined. "Let this be clear. Maybe I kind of like you guys. But now we have some things to do, so come on. And afterwards we can do whatever Bow meant with bonding things and this stuff" I said. 

Everybody seemed to be okay with this plan and eventually we got on the way to Glimmers mo... I mean the queen. The way to the Queen usually took 5 minutes, but we spent the whole time silly around, so the way took us 10 minutes. 

We entered the big bright hall, where the Queen was sitting on her throne. This time I wasn't the Person who told her this. Glimmer and Bow covered me with this because they knew I couldn't tell that a second time in a row. I just stood there nodding all the time.   
"Am I getting this Right? Adora went out to meet a unknown Person while she was supposed to be resting in her room. While she was outside she saw two Horde soldier spying in the Whispering Woods?" she said connecting all the pieces. 

"If you say it like this it sounds very shady" Glimmer said nervous. "Oh don't worry I am not mad at her. I am actually quite relived. I'm going to pass that on. The only thing I have to say is... Adora if you need a break from all this to get some air, please tell us before you do so or take Glimmer and Bow with you. I mean I don't like the idea of my daughter in the Whispering Woods without guards, but if you stick together it will be okay. Understand?" she asked in a calm tone. I nodded.   
I saw Glimmer doing a eye-roll for the comment from her mom, but she didn't say something.

After we had clarified this, Glimmer, Bow and me went to friends from them. It was not far from their Kingdom.   
There was a little village with not much people in it. They were lightly clothed in a flower style. Well I was a little confused about it, but I didn't payed much Attention to it. It was very peaceful and there was much vegetation all around the village.

They didn't told what we were exactly doing here, but I was sure they would do it anytime. But right in that moment a woman with bright blonde hair came towards us.   
She was thin, tall and lightly browned. "Glimmer and Bow it's nice to see you again. Did your mother send you Glimmer?" she asked. But then she looked behind Glimmer and Bow, to the spot where I stood.

"Ohh who are you? Ah.. I'm very sorry that I didn't recognized you... I'm Perfuma.. it's nice to meet you" She said holding her hand in my direction. "Oh don't worry everything is fine. I'm Adora it's nice to meet you too" I said shaking her hand. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am just firing the chapters out right now, so here is the chapter six. I hope everything is still alright and you enjoy reading the story. Also the Story will get very confusing at some point. When it happens don't ask you better just read and you'll maybe get the plot. Anyways I hope you have a nice day so far and that you're still fit!
> 
> Josi out!
> 
> Twitter:  
> https://twitter.com/Josilion?s=09


	7. New power

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra is new conditioned and starts her new life with her new memories of her past. She feels good and fresh, but also weird. Is she going to figure out what happened to her?

**Catra**

* * *

I woke up in my bed. My head ached a bit, but I thought it was from my lack of sleep. I couldn't sleep in the past few days because of promotion to second in command. I had a lot of things to do since that.   
I was hoping for this day to come for so long. I finally got the chance to show them how capable I was. The horde is in stress because, there was a horde girl which turned out to be a princess the whole time and then she switched the sides. 

Just the thought of it made me shiver. _How can somebody be such a traitor!?_ _I didn't even knew her name though. Anything with the letter A. Andria? Why was I even thinking about this?_

I decided to stand up from my bad and walk out of my room.   
I knew some of my stuff was still back in the community room, where everybody else was sleeping. So I went there to pick it up. When I entered the room, anybody saluted before starting to do what they did before. I walked past them and to my place, where some of my clothes were.

  
I was just about to stand up, when I saw a certain drawing. It was a awful drawing, so I thought that I must've been very young when I drew this. _I didn't remember when I drew this and I couldn't recognized the character which was beside mine. It kind of looked familiar though._

  
But I didn't want to spend time trying to figure out which person could've possible be that close to me _. I mean I didn't had any friends here... never. But I was fine with that. So I was at least able to pursue my goals undisturbed. I was more of an introvert anyways._

After I got my clothes I put them in my room. My head ache was still there so I decided to go outside to get fresh air. "I don't know why but I feel good today" I said to myself. And it was true. I mean I was always happy, but I didn't had to show that to everybody. I just kept it inside and I was pleased with it.   
I don't know why but I had the urge to climb on the building which was one of the highest buildings around I could possibly climb. I guess it was just my feline being, which let me feel the urge to do so. 

When I got up there, I sat down. I looked over the Frightzone. Everything felt just perfect. But after a while i thought about it stronger. It felt kind of odd. It felt too perfect. Something felt off. I couldn't really figure it out though. There was just something missing. But I tried my best not to pay attention to it. 

I just sat there. It could've been hours or just minutes. I had no feeling for the time. I was probably overthinking this and besides I had still this headache. I was just fantasizing things. I stood up and looked over the Frightzone one last time, before I started to jump down the building. 

As I landed, someone was calling my name. I looked around and saw a figure which presented itself as Scorpia. She waved to me and came towards me. When she was near enough to really see me I waved back. "Did you get some rest?" she asked. "not really I have an headache" I said touching my head.   
"Shadow weaver told me that we are going on a mission tomorrow" She said happily. "Oh that's great I can finally get out of this shithole" I said. She laughed and walked past me."Come on Catra it's dinner time" She said waiting in the entrance for me. 

  
I sprinted to her and we walked together in the building. Scorpia did always understand me. And she never judged because she was different herself. After the dinner Scorpia and I went to my room. She was actually the only person who was nice to me here. I always enjoyed chatting with her.   
I didn't showed it often but I really appreciated her with her concern and everything.

It was already evening and I wanted to be fit for tomorrow so she said her last goodbyes and went in her own room. "I'm so nervous" I murmured. I laid in my bed a little longer before I actually could sleep.   
Before I drifted in my sleep, My mind let me see some bright blue eyes. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter seven already. Wow I am really fast with editing the chapters, aren't I? Well that doesn't matter I hope the story is good and you like it. If there is anything off, tell me I'll fix it as fast as I can. If you have anything to say about the story don't be shy and write a comment, but you can always leave a kudos instead. I hope You all have still a nice day and are fit during this time.
> 
> Josi out!
> 
> Twitter:  
> https://twitter.com/Josilion?s=09


	8. To the rescue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora and her squad made their way on a dangerous mission to look what has been wrong with the horde lately

**Adora**

* * *

its been a few weeks since Thaymor and the incidence in the Woods and nothing happened.

I was confused. Very confused.

_They should have been attacking by now. At least Catra would have._

  
Glimmer, Bow and me have got to know us better in these weeks and I could consider them as my friends. They helped me through these weeks and stood by my side all the way. I was glad. We even got all the princesses together.   
Well except for Scorpia, who turned out to be a princess as well.

That's why I was so confused about them not attacking us. There was something wrong. They couldn't possibly wait that Long, could they?   
I even got the time to get help with She-ra. Razz and I met one time a week at least. I start to understood the basics about fighting with the sword, but there was still so much left to learn about for me. She helped me as well to get through all my stuff. 

  
I had some great support. _I wonder how it was for Catra_. Since we didn't see each other in almost a month, it wasn't that hard to get over it. _I mean I still have those emotions towards her, but I can control them now._

I stood on top of the tower from the kingdom to see above the Woods. But there was nothing. "This is so frustrating" I said to myself. _I just felt there was something bad going on. Not with the Horde but Catra. Maybe both. Catra was anyhow in trouble I could tell. Maybe they just wanted to wait for us to attack them? But that would make no sense. Everything starts to made no sense at this point._

  
Then Glimmer teleported to my side. They were right I would get used to it, but that didn't make it less scarier. "Doing some look out duty again?" she asked. I nodded and my look slide back to the Woods. "What do you think about it?" I asked.   
"I don't know actually. I think they want us to get reckless and uncareful to attack us at our weakest point. But that ain't going to happen. I promise you we will be prepared. Adora are you even listening?" She asked waving her hand in front of my eyes.

  
"Yeah I was listening, but I was focused on something else a bit" I almost whispered. "What's it?" she asked concerned. "You would probably think, I have a relapse" I answered. "is it about Catra?" she asked. I nodded. "Wanna tell me about it?" she asked and smiled in my direction.   
"Well I can't really explain it though" I simply said. "You can try" she tried to squeeze it out of me. She would never give up, so I said what I thought. "I think Catra is in trouble" I said.

She looked at me confused with the look -Why? "And...?" she asked. "I don't know I just got that feeling" I said.   
"How long?" she asked. "Since I came back from the Woods that day" I said. "Why didn't you say something sooner?" she asked loudly. "It wasn't that bad back then. It just turned bad in the past few days" I defensed myself. "So what are we going to do about it?" she asked raising her eyebrow. "Probably something stupid" I said. "Why did I know this would come?" she asked giggling.

  
"Because you know me too well I guess" I said smiling. "No but really.... I mean your stomach feeling is never wrong lately... should we you know...check that?" She asked nervous. "You would come with me to check if Catra is..... I mean what the horde is doing?" I corrected me. "I don't care about Catra... but you seem to do so. And I will support you if it means you get back to Bright moon safe" She said taking my hand in hers.   
My eyes widened. "I really appreciate this. And I'm very sorry for dragging you into this again. I mean with Catra and that stuff. It's just I feel okay with us being enemies and she can hate my guts all she want, but if anything happened to her I will never forgive myself" I confessed. "I guess nobody could teach you to let go of her and if I wouldn't come with you, you would go alone and that ends up in a mess. I can tell" She said smiling.

  
I hugged her very tight. She was surprised at first, but started hugging me back after. "That's what friends are for right?" She asked. "For ever" I agreed. "So what are we still doing up here we have a mission haven't we?!" she almost shouted. With a wide smile, Glimmer and me teleported in Bows room, but he wasn't there.   
"Guys are you coming!?" He asked. We looked around in the room, but he wasn't there. Eventually we figured, that he was already outside waiting for us, when we saw out of the window. We looked at him confused. "You didn't think I would let you guys go there all by yourself did you?" He said laughing. "Ha you should see your faces right now. Before you asked, I heard you guys talking" He said still laughing.

  
"How could you have heard us up there?" Glimmer asked back. "Well you speak very loudly" He said shrugging. "Whatever... let the adventure begin" Glimmer said and we both jumped out of the window and on swift wind. "Bring us near the Frightzone!" I said and he began to fly in the air.

  
The ride didn't take that long, since in the air is not much which could cause an problem. Swift wind set us down on the ground. "Stay here" I commanded. Glimmer, Bow and me took our way in the Frightzone. However, we were still in the part of the zone where only pipes protruded from the ground.

  
But at least there were no guards there who could have seen us. Only after a few minutes of walking, the first buildings appeared next to us. Only now did we become really cautious about what we were doing. 

  
I made the other two a few hand signals that they could understand. We spread out to turn off several guards. Then we took their uniforms and helmets to cover us. After a few minutes we met again. "okay guys. We are now disguised as soldiers, so we have to behave like one of them. The best thing you do is do what I do". They then stepped behind me to follow. 

  
We marched towards the main building. I didn't know exactly what to expect because I haven't been a member for a month. But, of course, we couldn't just walk in there as if it ever worked.   
Before we could walk through the door we were intercepted. "What are you doing here. All the soldiers should be at the meeting a long time ago," said the soldier at the door. "We were just on our way there, something stopped us, so we are late," I said. "We don't have time to discuss. Unless you want to be punished personally by Hordak," said the soldier, leading us into the building. 

  
He went ahead, so I could expand the plan undisturbed with Bow and Glimmer. "What are we doing now?" Whispered Glimmer. "You two go to this meeting to get information it could be beneficial." I whispered back. "And what about you?" bow asked quietly.

  
"I'm going to take the chance that none of the soldiers are running around in the aisles, and try to find Catra. When I see her and she's fine, I come to the meeting and you will see that it is me when I.. I don't know... hold my hand to my heart when I enter the room... something like this. If I do not find her in time before the meeting is over, do not wait for me. No words of rebuttals. I know myself here and I can do it on my own". Whispered and made a turn to the right before they could have answered anything.

_I just hope everything will went smoothly._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter eight guys. I am feeling like I upload to much on a day but I guess that is a good thing for you. At least if you enjoy reading the story, that is. I think now comes the time in the story where it gets more and more confusing for you. Like I said don't ask just read it will eventually explain itself to you. I hope you have a nice rest day and that you're still fit.
> 
> Josi out!
> 
> Twitter:  
> https://twitter.com/Josilion?s=09


	9. Is that a dream?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra is coming back from a victorious fight over Plumeria, but cant seem to understand that something feels off. The whole day was very confusing and she decides to look after what she saw. And then everything went crazy.

**Catra**

* * *

I woke up. I had a beautiful dream about a girl with blonde hair. I mean I didn't know her at all, but I had the urge to go back to sleep just to see her again. But before I could let my dream pass revue, Scorpia entered the room slamming the door open loudly. 

  
Since I was already awake it wasn't that shocking. But nevertheless I gave her a dead glare. "Come on Wildcat you were already awake, no need to show me all your love" She said dramatically. I couldn't be mad at her for long, so I stated giggling a few seconds after.   
She just stood there smiling.

"Why are you here anyways. I mean it's very early in the morning" I asked her. "Well we have our first mission today and we are going to Plumeria" she said smiling. "Do we have any information about what we are going to do there?" I asked still sitting in my bed.   
"Not yet, but we have a meeting in a few minutes. That's why I wanted to wake you" She said pulling me out of the bed and pushed me towards the door.

"Okay I get it. You can stop pushing me now I can walk on my own" I said and she started walking beside me.   
"Aren't you nervous about our first mission?" she asked me. "Even if I were I wouldn't tell you. I mean nervousness would be a problem if we fight" I said to her. "Well you're right, but I can't help it. It's just so exciting" she admitted. I just rolled my eyes and let out a slight sigh. 

A few minutes after that we reached the meeting room. There were actually not a lot of people. Mostly because it's early and because I assume this mission is for Force Captains and Second in commands only.   
Scorpia and I stood in our places and listened to what our mission leader had to say.

 _Finally we could get out of this place_. I was waiting for this for so long. I felt happy and good. _Maybe I could kick some princesses ass out there_. A smile was seen on my face.   
The Leader of the Mission explained the details and Scorpia and I were divided into a team together. "You may be dismissed. Go get yourself a transporter and don't get separated on the way." He stated and leaved the room without any other words.

  
We marched out to the halls where our means of transport and army vehicles are stored. Some of them took a tank but I decided against it and Scorpia and I got a skiff. She started the engine and we flew towards the open gate. "That feels good doesn't it?" She asked. "I agree" I said, breathing the fresh air. 

Plumeria was a little village with not much residents. The only thing I knew was that there was living one of the princesses. But since the Rebellion recruited all of the princesses, I assume she is not present in her village but in Bright moon. "This feels just good" Scorpia said. "Everything is perfect" she added. 

I flinched at that comment. Something was bugging me, when she said that. I ignored that and focused on our mission. The horde told us they wanted to destroy the runestones one by one. Starting with the least protected one in Plumeria. Made sense since the princesses are gaining their power out of these. 

I wondered why no one already did this in the past, but I didn't know how it was back then so I kept my mouth shut. Our group of soldiers made it near Plumeria after a while.   
One team has agreed to inspect the site before we would attack. "I wonder what the Rebellion is planning, considering the fact, that almost none of the princesses were present in their one empire in the last few days" Scorpia said. "I wonder why we didn't attack them sooner then" I answered. "Good point. I don't know it either" She admitted. 

But before we could continue the talk the said Team came back and told everything was free for us to attack now. When everyone was ready, we set off for Plumeria. As we arrived the village with our transporters I heard people screaming. Probably the residents who wants to evacuate the village. But it was to late for them by now. 

I looked to my right and to my left. Our troops were already starting to destroy the village. "You're ready?" I asked Scorpia to my left. She nodded and gave me a shady smile. Scorpia and I were heading right to the runestone, where most of the villagers were to protect what was left of the village.   
They were attacking us with things that were lying around on the ground. I was wondering why they didn't even had any weapons to defend their Village. It was kind of odd. Our troops were fast in knocking them down with our electro weapons.   
No princess to be seen.

  
I took out my specific instrument and put it down on the runestone. Since nobody can destroy a runestone just with ordinary weapons we must have think about some kind of electronic mechanism which turned off the power of it immediately. 

The Tree, in which the runestone was, withered as quickly as the power had turned off. Just as this happened I was lifted from behind into the air and I heard clapping. My mates were clapping and cheering. "Okay guys the mission is not over yet. Lets head back to the Frightzone, before we celebrate our victory. kay?" I said.   
Everybody nodded and head back to their transporters.

I was looking over the village. Everything was destroyed and people were laying all over the place. They were not dead though, but they will have some injury's when they wake up.   
We were just a few minutes on our way back to the Frightzone, when a certain thought came up in my mind.

_Why was this so easy? It felt a little to easy for my taste. As if it were supposed to happen exactly like this._

As I were in my thoughts I recognized a shadow in the corner of my eye. I looked to my right and saw a blonde ponytail. "Scorpia stopp the skiff I think I saw something!" I said to her. "What are you talking about?" she asked not willing to stop the skiff. "There was a Person!" I said. "I think you just seeing things Catra... maybe you should get some sleep after this" She said looking at me concerned. "No Im serious. I swear I saw someone" I started getting louder. "Catra everything its alright you have nothing to worry about. We won the first battle over Plumeria. Don't let your Imaginations get the control" She said looking me dead in the eye. 

_I was sure I saw something out there. Even if Scorpia won't believe me._

I just rolled my eyes and accepted it the way it was. We flew back in the Frightzone without saying one more word. The others were celebrating the victory but I wasn't in the mood to celebrate anything in this moment. Even if the others wanted to convince me I decided against it and wished them fun. After that nobody tried to persuade me anymore. 

I was relieved though. It was still morning and I had nothing to do in my room. I just laid in my bed and stared at the ceiling. "Why does everything feel so weird?" I asked myself. "Because it is not real" some voice said. 

I jumped out of my bed ready to beat the unknown person who seemed to talk to me. but as I stood up I couldn't see anybody. "Where and who are you?!" I shouted. No answer. "wake up" A female voice said. The voice was familiar, but I was sure I never heard that voice before. 

_The bigger question was, why do I hear her voice._ It seemed she can't hear me so I wasn't expecting any answers to my questions. I ignored it the best I could. But then I remembered the shadow I saw in the woods and I couldn't get it out of my mind. "Why is this day so weird!". _I mean I already felt that yesterday_. Everything was a blur and I couldn't figure out what I wanted to do. 

  
But then I decided to head out of the Frightzone. I had to find what's in the Whispering Woods. As if I was teleported I stood in front of the Whispering Woods. "What the hack?!" I shouted touching all my body parts just to make sure I was in one piece.   
Luckily I was. 

  
I was exhaling out loud. "I feel like vomiting" I said to myself. And it was true. With everything going on right now I wasn't even sure if I was really here or still in my barrack sleeping. As I caught myself I was going deeper in the Woods not knowing what I was expecting there. _It's not like this mysterious shadow would appear right in front of me._  
As I was walking forward I let out my thoughts.

_I don't know what I'm doing here. What led me here. Everything is so weird. My stomach says me that this is going to be bad. First the day yesterday, which felt perfect and good, then the fight in Plumeria, which we won without much effort and now this voice and Scorpia saying everything is fine. I got a strong feeling that the next thing that is going to happen, is seeing the girl from my dreams._

  
Suddenly I heard a noise nearby. It wasn't loud, but I could hear it through my sensitive ears. Someone was there. I slowly crept in the direction where the noise came from. Someone was talking, but I couldn't make up a second person so I assumed she was talking to herself.  
Quietly, I made my way through the scrub. The person was really close now. I destroyed the last layers of plants that separated me from the person.

As I turned my eyes to the person, I almost had to pinch my hysteric laughter.

  
_Is this supposed to be a joke?_

There was no one less than the girl I had seen in my dreams. Apparently I had been very loud at destroying the plants, because she interrupted her quiet talk and looked at me. Now she stood there and looked at me like a deer. "Catra!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey people! Here is chapter 9 I hope everything is perfect and that you are safe right now. With all the riots and stuff going on. Since I don't live in that area I can only pray for your safety. And I donated today for the protestors on the frontlines. Anyway...I wish you all a nice day and all.
> 
> Josi out!
> 
> Twitter:  
> https://twitter.com/Josilion?s=09


	10. Where did you go?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora makes her way to the place she used to grow up with Catra... the Frightzone, when suddenly her worries became reasonable.

**Adora**

* * *

I heard the sound of the electric doors open and closing just as I went to the other aisle. Now Glimmer and Bow are gone like every other soldier in the zone. _Just the perfect time to search for Catra_. Nevertheless I had to pay attention to my surroundings. The Frightzone has cameras over the place. And besides I'm aware of Shadow Weavers magic with which she can spot people and all that kind of stuff. 

  
I've always had some great respect from her and her powers. I knew from certain people that she erased some of my memories back there. But I didn't figure out how to restore them yet. I also hope that their not that important if I have no chance to get them back. 

  
The aisles had split. Since I knew this area very well, I knew were to go. The only thing I didn't knew is were Catra would be.   
When I wanted to turn right, I heard voices and since there was no time to go all the way back, I decided to make my way through the ventilation shafts. I took me a time to make it up there and I almost fell down, but it was the only thing I could do to stay covered. 

_You better are in trouble Catra, otherwise this was all for nothing_. So I crawled through the shafts looking for any indication that Catra was having problems. I was a little doubtful. _What if she was at the meeting? That would be so ridiculous. Catra never went to meetings._

The shafts were dirty and stuffy. _Why are there air shafts here when they are not used?_ In addition, I bumped into a body part every few seconds because the shafts were so tight. Suddenly I heard voices. I didn't know where it came from, but I stopped to make no noises. 

  
"What's going on with you Scorpia? You've always been so weird lately," I heard a voice say. There was no reply to that question. "Is it because of her?" asked the same voice. Again, no answer. "Listen, we can't do anything for her, the only thing we can do is just carry on as before" said the voice. now I became audible.   
"That you say that was clearly Lonnie. You never really liked her, admit it!" shouted a new voice. "That's not true at all, but we can't do anything about Shadow weaver. When we collapse like her, we end up like her. I'm not really the guy to leave someone behind, but it takes a few more people to get Catra back and we all know that most people hate her here," Lonnie said. 

  
_So I was right, Catra was in danger. What happened to her?_ I tried to get closer to the voices to hear them a bit better, but they didn't continued to talk. _Why didn't I come up with it before?_ But there was not time to think about this.   
I had to find Catra quickly.

I was crawling faster. And even if it meant bumping my limbs harder. I didn't care in the moment though.

I lost my sense of orientation, so I decided to get out of the shafts and use the gears again from now on. As I jumped down I looked around to figure out were I was. _Why is this like a labyrinth?_

  
But as soon as I saw the barracks I figured I was in my old room. Nobody was there _. What a coincidence_. I was tempted to go to my old bed. I crouched down to see it better. I reached out for the sheets and hovered over it with my hands. I replayed some of my memories we had in here. Well Catra and I used to sleep in here together. We always wished each other a goodnight.

  
I didn't realized that a smile has appeared on my face. But what attracted my attention the most was the drawing on the wall behind it. We drew it to mark this place. I touched it softly with my fingers. However was I relieved that it was still there.

  
A noise brought me back to the reality and I stood up fast. _I have wasted to much time_. I hid next to the doors and as somebody entered the room I slide behind them and got as fast as I could out of there. 

  
From now on I knew were to go. _I mean, I hope that Shadow Weaver keeps Catra in their chambers. I don't know where else to look though._

As I finally reached the front doors of the Chambers I got sweaty hands. _What if she isn't in there or worse what if she is already gone?_  
I didn't really knew how to deal with Shadow Weaver. I didn't even know how to open this freaking door. I guess I had no other choice than transforming into She-ra and burst the door open.

But before I could even implement my plan, someone came out of the chambers, but I quickly got behind some pipes so the person wouldn't see me.   
There was Shadow weaver coming out holding her mask. She didn't look good. It was almost like she were about to faint. She quickly recovered and walked or hovered over the ground to her left aisle.

  
_Now was the perfect timing._  
The doors were about to close, but I slide through them just in time.   
I searched for any hints. But there was nothing.

I didn't knew were shadow weaver went, but she wouldn't be away for long in her state. She would probably be back in a few minutes to gain power from the black garnet. I have to find something now or else this will not turn out good for me. _Come on gut feeling I count on you._

I tried to think of every place were Catra could be in this moment, but there was nothing. "Shit!" I swore silently. Since the doors were closed I had to wait until shadow weaver comes back so I could sneak out unseen. 

  
I used the time I had left to search more. I walked on my tip toes trying to make no sound. But then I stepped on something hard. I looked down and I gasped.   
It was Catras metal mask she always wore. I picked it up holding in my hand.

 _Now I had something that could connect me with her._ I felt a weird aura and wanted to turn around, but then everything went black. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys chapter 10 is ready. I just wanted to say I am really lazy, so if you really want to read more from this story you should go on Wattpad, because there is the version more extended than here. I upload it here and on Wattpad before you ask. Anyway I'll put a link below. I hope you enjoyed the chapter. It was a bit short tho.
> 
> Josi out!
> 
> Twitter:  
> https://twitter.com/Josilion?s=09  
> Wattpad:  
> my.w.tt/e5owA9rS46


	11. 01197

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora finally reached for Catra, but both of them are going to face something bigger soon

**Catra**

* * *

"Catra!" The girl said out loud. I gave her a confused look. She came towards me with tears in her eyes. The next thing I remembered was her hugging me. "what the hell do you think you're doing?" I asked trying to get out of her grasp.

  
Eventually I stopped trying, because her grip was to tight. I just stood there tensed up like a statue. When she finally lets got of me, I made a step back. "Look Catra there is no time for me to explain" She said. "What do you mean? I don't even know you. What are you talking about?" I asked her. 

She mumbled something under her breath something I identified as "Damit I forgot. She told me you wouldn't remember me".   
Well sometimes I'm glad I have feline features. 

  
"Nevermind Catra. I know this is weird for you since you don't remember me at all, but you have to trust me with this. There is something you need to know.... this all here isn't real...and you have to wake up" She said.

I tried to process that.   
I didn't know what the hell she was talking about, but she appeared in my dreams and all this here was shady from the beginning. But I needed something to prove that this was really just a dream. Hell I didn't even know was this was. _Was it a dream? Am I dead? Am I in a Koma?_

"How can I trust you? Can you prove me that this isn't real?" I asked.   
I just needed something I could hold on to. She seemed to be in thoughts as she apparently got an idea. She grabbed me by my wrist and led my further in the woods. "Hey... wait... were are we going? What do you want from me anyway?" I asked her as she pulled me. "Stop talking just stick on my side" She said back.

  
_why do I allow this? I never listen to someone I don't know_. But it felt like I had no other choice. There was some part of me who wanted to believe this.   
She stopped in the middle of the forest and I bumped into her. "Hey couldn't you warn me the next time you stop this abruptly?" I asked rubbing my head. "I'm sorry... I guess were going to start with you" she said offering me a smile, but it kind of looked desperate.

  
"You probably asking yourself who I am and why I know you, but I have to make it short, so don't ask just listen I don't have enough time to explain everything to you" She said fast. I almost couldn't follow her talk.

  
"So I'm Adora you childhood best-friend. We were growing up together in the Frightzone until I found out what the horde is actually doing. Then I defected and joined the Rebellion. We were Inseparable then and we did everything together. you used to sleep at the end of our bed back in the horde. I tried to protect you from Shadow weaver every time she tried to blame you for stupid things we did. The last time I saw you was at the fight over Thaymor. That's when you figured out I am She-ra a princess. The moment you found out I was She-ra, you ran away from me. I never saw you again. That was a month ago" She said serious.

I didn't know if she was trying to confuse me on purpose.   
"You're crazy" I said. She just shocked her head. "I don't care what you think of me right now. the only thing I care about is you. You have to wake up. This isn't real Catra! didn't you notice? I don't know what to do anymore. I can't wake you, you have to wake up by yourself. And if that doesn't happen I will lose you forever. This is the only chance I have to safe you" She said almost tearing up.

  
"Give me one Thing, one prove, something only you could know about me. Something I would never tell anybody but you... I can't just believe what you told me. You could be here to kidnapp me or worse" I said crossing my arms.

  
She took a breath and started to think. "We used to reprogram the doors in the Frightzone and insert a different code. This code then became your favorite number" She said. "Well what is my favorite number?" I asked. "01197" she said.   
I tried to remember, but there was nothing.

I mean it sounded pretty cool what she told me but I can't remember her or our "childhood stuff" so this number probably don't exist in my mind. I shock my head. She exhaled.   
"Your Birthday is the 28th October" she said. "Well that's right but that's not a secret" I basically said. She thought further.

"You hate mice, losing, sailing and you hate water the most. You really enjoy winning and you used to eat all my sweets back in the horde. But the most important thing is...you can purr" She said almost smiling.

  
My facial expression changed from normal to embarrassingly touched to shocked. "who told you that. Nobody ever heard me purrin....I mean I don't know what you're are talking about. I may be a feline, but I don't have every Feline fea... Hey what are you doing!" I said as she laid her hand behind my ear and started scratching it. 

  
Before I could do anything my mouth escaped a purr. I instantly put my hand over my mouth and made a step back. "Hey stop it!" I said.

There was a little silence between as. We just looked at each other until I let out a groan. "Okay I believe you, but don't you ever do that again" I said crossing my arms. "Fine fine. Btw you never really liked being called a cat and you are a person, who never says what she actually wants" She added and chuckled. 

  
"I don't want you to do that again. I am serious" I said and gave her a glare, but she just shrugged and said "You sure are".

"so what exactly is going to happen next and why did you take me so deep into the forest?" I asked. "I had to make sure nobody would see us and I was searching for someone who can help us" She said grabbing my wrist again.

  
"Hey I can walk on my own and btw didn't you say you don't have enough time?" I asked. "Well I thought it would take much longer to convince you, you are usually pretty stubborn" She said letting go of my wrist. "Well considering the circumstances, I tried not to be" I shot.

"Thanks" she said. "For what?" I asked confused. "Being cooperative" she answered and gave me a look a couldn't interpret. "Your welcome?" I said weirdly.   
Then there was a uncomfortable silence between us.

"Well since I have to stick around you for now... you could explain a bit more about our situation and why I am where I am" I said.   
"Well I can't answer your second question since I am not a part of your life anymore, so I don't know what exactly happened, but I can try to answer the first one. We are both important persons on our allegiances. We are in war and the horde, where you are is trying to conquer Etheria, while the Rebellion, where I am, is trying to prevent this. Since we used to be best friends it was hard for me to move on for a long time. I mean, I don't even have it in control now, otherwise I wouldn't be here to get you out of this. After I defected, we were expecting the horde to attack us, at least I thought that, but nothing happen. I thought you would instant start to plan an attack since I thought you want to extinct me because of my betrayal. I felt awful, but I hoped you would understand, why I did it. I never wanted to leave you, but since I found the sword of protection in the Whispering woods a fate has been imposed upon me, to which I must bow if I want to save Etheria. There is so much I have to learn about my past and where I come from" She said and she got faster with every sentence.

"Okay that is pretty much a mess" I said, because I didn't know how to react to this information.   
"I guess you could say that" She said looking around.

Then she made a sound and pulled me to our right. I didn't said something this time, she wouldn't stop grabbing my hand or my wrist anyways. We stopped in front of an weird shelter and this time I didn't bumped into Adora. "So what exactly are we doing here?" I asked, but she shushed me.

  
She made me a sign to stay and then she took a few steps forward until Adora was surprised and frightened by an old lady, who came out of the shelter. "Oh my god Razz!" She said shielding herself and then relaxed herself. "Oh you finally found me come on we don't have enough time" she said grabbing her by the wrist and pulling her inside. "you too Catra!" she yelled. My eyes widened and I soon found myself in the shelter of that woman.

  
"Why does everybody keep saying they don't have enough time? Don't enough time for what?!" I said confused. Adora didn't look in my direction instead she was observing the room. "To bring you back to live" she said dryly. "What is that supposed to mean... wait am I dead?" I asked shocked. "No not really... you are more in some kind of coma between your imagination and distorted reality and we can't wake you up in reallife, so we tried to try it here instead" Adora said looking in my eyes for the first time, since we arrived here.

  
"I mean I appreciate that, but why is it so important for me to wake up?" I asked them. "You will stay in here trapped for ever if we don't do something, you might even really die" Razz said. "How come?" I questioned. "Your physical appearance will get more bad with every day, since you don't get the care and all" Adora said.

"But I actually meant why do want me back there if you just said we are enemies? That's the one I can't figure out" I said looking to Adora, who started to look away again as if she hadn't already observed enough of this shelter already. 

  
"You wouldn't understand... and now is not the time we have some major problems" Adora said rubbing her arm like when it would be cold here.

I didn't asked further, it might be a sensitive topic for her and too complex to explain that now. "Come here" Razz said and knocked on the ground to tell me, sit down. I did what she told or signed me.

  
There was a silence in the room until Razz started to put her hands on my right and left cheek. I flinched a bit at that unexpected touch before I got used to it. "I will now try to restore some of your memories and then I hope they trigger some more. It's like a domino effect" She explained and her hands started to glow.

  
I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on what was happening. _This was some crazy shit morning._ _Why do I always get in such weird situations?_

I was just about to ask when it will start when I mentally appeared in a room. It was the barrack back in the horde. _Was I finally awake? Was it all a bad dream? Oh my god I am so confused right now._

But suddenly a voice appeared in my head and I remembered why I was sent here. "Catra you are now in your head. I am going to restore some important memories, so be prepared. Just so you know, just watching your memories won't bring them back, so It could happen that you can't connect to them right away." I noted what she said and paid attention to what happened around me, but there was nothing happening.

  
The barracks were empty, so I decided to leave the room and started walking around to find something. When I walked out I looked to my left and saw a drawing. It was kinda blurry. As I got closer it vanished. I shocked my head and kept walking out of the room.

  
When I was walking around I observed everything that could've been possibly different. I soon figured out nobody actually could see, hear or touch me. I got impatient very fast, but I kept my peace. Then I heard some giggling in another hallway and decided to look where it came from. "Are your sure we should do this?". 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha chapter 11 finally. I am a lazy mf still though. I can't help it. I hope you enjoy it and I will look that I maybe upload more the upcoming days. But I can't promise anything. It depends if my headache, which I got yesterday morning, will vanish. I hope you have a nice day and stay fit and safe.
> 
> Josi out!
> 
> Twitter:  
> https://twitter.com/Josilion?s=09


	12. Memories

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adora risks everything

**Adora**

* * *

I woke up with a strong headache. I felt like I was drunk. My vision was blurry and I felt kind of dizzy. _What the hell happened and where was I?_

It took me a while until I could really see something. The darkness didn't really helped. I look to my right and my left. It was not a big room though. I soon realized that I was tied up. My handy and my feet were tied on the wall. _This was not good._ But at least I was alone for the moment to think about a plan.

  
_I hope Glimmer and Bow are safe now. How late was it anyways?_

After a few minutes my eyes got used to the darkness and I could make out a person lying in some kind of glas-coffin. _What the hell was happening here?_

The person was to far away form me, to really recognize who it was. The only thing I wanted to find in this minute, was Catra and I had no idea where I was.   
Suddenly the doors opened and the light blinded me, so I had to close my eyes.

"I wouldn't have imagined for you to come back" the lady said, but I felt still dizzy and zoned out that I didn't recognized the voice.   
"I was stupid to come back, why would you risk it?" The person said and as she laid her hand on my cheek, I immediately knew who it was.

"Shadow weaver" I spat. She just laughed. "My little Adora... my poor Adora.. I thought you would be smarter than that" she said hovering across the room to the person in the coffin. "Where am I and what did you do to Catra!" I said loud. "So you already noticed what is happening? Good" she said and her hand slide over the coffin. 

  
"I'll wipe that smirk of off your face!" I shouted back. "I wouldn't be so sure of that" she said. "I don't get what you're doing here. You're kidnapping me and tying me up and now? What do you want from me?" I asked desperate. "I just want to torture you a bit" She said smiling. "What for?!" I said almost screaming. "That you left and that Catra has to suffer because of you, you are the cause of all this!" She said loud. "Cause of what?" I shouted. "Of this" she said and suddenly the lights were turned on and I could see, who was lying in that glas-coffin.

"Catra!" I screamed. "What did you do to her!?" I asked with a hateful voice.   
"Well after her breakdown from your defect I decided to give her some peace and let her life in a different reality" She said calm.

"That is not how this works Shadow Weaver! This isn't the solution for the problem!" I said screaming. "Well that is easy for you to say. You defected and left her behind. It is easy for you to get over it because you were in a new environment and would not be remembered of her, with every look you take!" She said shouting back. _Wow I haven't seen her this emotional since... actually never._

  
"Why do you care all of the sudden? You always treated her like shit!" I snapped back. "I treated her like this because she needed to be strong. I was told to raise you both as soldiers, so that was what I was doing, no exception. But she was just always the weak one because you were so perfect, she thought she had to be like you" She stated.

"Excuse me! You were the one who made me this. You were the one who told me I had to be perfect. I did what you told me. Everybody was looking up to me. Everybody expected from me to be the perfect role model. When I would have done something wrong, others would get punished or I would get punished. So this is all my fault now? No you can't blame me for your mistakes!" I shouted again. 

  
She just looked at me evil and growled in a weird way. but then she went back to her calm and professional self. She "walked" towards me and smiled. I couldn't describe how much I want to punch her face right now. "I will wake her up an then I am going to take her with me" I said to her. "hahah no you don't. If you wake her up in this reality, she will die" My eyes widened. "What have you done to her!" I screamed but now with tears in my eyes.

"I connected her with this other reality, so she wouldn't wake up by herself. Why don't you just give her peace. She has already suffered enough, don't you think?" she asked putting her hand back on my cheek. I turned my face away. 

  
"because... she wouldn't want this. She would never want something like this. I know her better than anybody could ever. Don't even try to manipulate me. It won't work and it never actually did" I said looking her dead in the eyes or mask. "Nevertheless you lost some of your memories though" She argued. "Well I don't care about them" I said even if that was a lie.

"Are you sure about it. I mean ok... if you never want to know where you came from and who you parents are fine" she said turning around.   
"Wait what? You know where I came from?" I asked shocked. "Of course I do. I was there when we took you in" She said calm. "I can give em back to you, if you promise to step away form Catra. Just leave her alone." She explained.

 _This little..... No I can't risk that. I don't know anything about my parents and where I came from for like all my life. It wouldn't kill me if I have to wait longer. I don't care if I have to give this memories up. I mean their just memories right? If my parents were interested in me they would've found me by now wouldn't they? I can't just leave Catra like this. She is more of an part of my life, than anybody could ever be_.

"I don't care" I said. She turned around surprised. "What a waste" She said. "I don't need your pity" I said angry. 

  
"No what you need is a lesson" Shadow weaver said standing right in front of me. I didn't answer to that and just hung there on my ties. "Maybe I should erase your memories too, so you wouldn't even have the urge to destroy Catras life" She said placing her hands on each side of my head.

I tried to ignore my trembling body.   
Soon the room was filled with red lightning, which Shadow Weaver always uses for her Magic, but this time it will harm me in a bad way and I was afraid that I am going to forget Catra. "How does it feel to be this helpless?" She asked and I yelped in pain as the Magic showed its impact on me.

  
_No, no this can't happen_. She laughed and I felt tears streaming down my face. The Magic was getting stronger and more painful. "You are going to regret this so bad!" I screamed. "I don't think so" She said smiling and just in that moment the pain grew bigger. "Aghh!" I screamed out. 

  
I was just about to faint, but in that moment The door crashed open and Shadow Weaver was slam to the wall to my right. I finally could recover from the pain and relax a bit. She wasn't able to get through my head. My confidents grew since I joined the Rebellion and so did my will.

  
"Adora are you okay... oh wait let me help you" Glimmer said. "What are you guys doing here? I thought I told you to leave without me. Why won't you listen to me one time?" I asked laughing a little bit, but stopped immediately when I recognized a headache was coming. "Hey don't underestimate us! we were listening, but then we met this crazy lady in the Woods and she told us some confusing stuff about how you were in danger and she wanted to come with us" She said a bit angsty.

"Don't worry Glimmer. She is the woman, who I train with. It's weird that I just realized you never actually met her guys. Where is she?" I said thinking about what I said.  
Bow took care of Shadow Weaver and tied her to the wall. Glimmer helped me out of my Ties and there I was standing on my own again. It felt like ages.

"To answer your question, I don't really now we kind of lost her on our way here" She said smiling to me like an innocent child who did something wrong. "Oh don't worry she will find me when the time is right. I hope" I murmured the last part. "Why couldn't I get in your mind? It always worked back when you were a soldier" she asked. "Well a good magician never reveals his tricks" I said and winked at her. 

  
To confirm my victory, she let out a growl. I took a step towards Catras coffin. _Oh my god what did she do to you?_

She looked emaciated and her otherwise brown skin tone, looked pale. All the signs of life had gone out of her. It was like she was... dead. I didn't even spelt the words and it was hard to get the realization of this word. But she wasn't dead. Not yet.

  
It will be very risky to wake her up, but I have to try it even if it might mean killing her, I can't just sit here and watch this. I just prayed.   
Bow and Glimmer have made sure that Shadow Weaver is knocked out for the next time.

"I'm so glad you came back guys" I said hugging them. "We are too, but what are we supposed to do right now. I don't feel very comfortable being here" Bow said. "I know. We just have to wait for Razz, to show up and then everything will be okay I guess" I said unsure.

They gave me a concerned look but I just turned around to look at Catra.   
"You got any Information from the meeting?" I asked changing the subject. "Well actually yes, They will attack us in a few days and we could see some of the machines their going to use. Bow is on it to analyze them, to find their weak spots. They will attack on night and there are a big amount of soldiers. They recruited a lot in the last time, probably why it took them so long to attack" Glimmer explained.

"Well that's something I guess" Glimmer and Bow both nodded. I could see it in the reflection of the glas. Then both of them did some look out duty an made sure nobody is coming. 

  
After a while I was a bit concerned. _What if something happened to Razz? What if she got lost?_

  
But all my doubts went irrelevant because suddenly Razz joined us in the room. "Oh my god Razz we thought you were a soldier! Where were you?" Glimmer asked silent. "I just wanted to look a bit around. I have never been here before you know. I thought it would be fun" she stated.   
Glimmer looked at me in disbelieve and then to Bow, who had the same expression on his face. 

  
"You will get used to it"   
I simply said and went to Razz. "Razz I need you to tell me why you're here" I said.   
"I just knew you were in danger" she said. "Wait you can feel that?" I asked confused. "So did you with her, didn't you?" She asked. Touché.

  
"Do you know something about her state?" I asked. "Well she is in some kind of Koma and you can't wake her up in this state" Razz said analyzing the body of her. "What do you mean?" Glimmer asked.   
"I think I know what she means. Shadow Weaver told me she could die, when we try to wake her up in this reality.... but what if we could enter her subconscious?" I asked offering this opportunity. 

  
"Well this isn't a bad idea but it will be difficult. I don't think we will have enough strength to dive that deep in her subconscious" Razz said. "And what if I give you power?" Glimmer asked. "No Glimmer you didn't charged before we went here" I said, instant wondering why we always forgot to do this. 

  
"We must find another way" I said. "What if we tap her?" I asked pointing at Shadow Weaver. Razz seemed to think about it. "More dangerous, but it would help a lot" She said. We were sitting in a circle. Razz and I were holding hands with Shadow Weaver and Catra so the circle was closed. 

  
"Before we start doing this.. I must tell you that it is going to take us a while. The time in a dream is not as long as outside in this reality, so it could be, that in her dreams it has only been a week or less but for us it has been a month. It depends on when Catra has been there. So when we are there it is for us 2 hours and here like maybe 8. And also it could be that Shadow Weaver erased her memories so she maybe wont remember you Adora" Razz explained. 

  
Glimmer and Bow looked at each other and then nodded. "I just hope you don't take this long" Bow said. I nodded at them closing my eyes. "Just as we did in the training Adora" Razz said and so I did. Soon I felt the warmth of the magic and then I felt a little dizzy.

  
The next thing I saw, was me waking up in the forest, on the ground. I looked around and felt a little lost. Razz wasn't around, but searching wouldn't help me now. _God knows where that woman is now._

  
I was going around the forest, to find at least something and then I saw a big forest away. I walked on it and looked to my right...nothing. Then I looked to my left and I saw... I couldn't really recognize what it was... the things were coming closer and then I realized it were Horde vehicles. _Shoot._

  
I soon rushed back in the forest before they could've seen me. I watched them flew away and then I saw a certain person and my heart immediately skipped a beat. _How long has it been since I last saw her and she was here all this time_. It made me sad.

  
Catra looked in my direction, after she was arguing with somebody. I watched them fly away, until I couldn't see them anymore. Something was telling me that Catra saw me and that she is coming in the forest. I was just another feeling I got. 

  
So I waited and waited and waited, till I heard a noise. I Immediately was on fighting position, but then I saw the person who was walking towards me. "Catra!" I shouted and I felt the tears. _Why the heck was I so emotional?_

  
The next thing I did was hugging her, which she actually hates and she soon added "what the hell do you think you're doing?" but I was just to happy to see her. After that, she didn't tried to stop me anymore. "Look Catra there is no time for me to explain" I said. "What do you mean, I don't even know you. What are you talking about?" She asked me confused.

I mumbled "Damit I forgot. She told me you wouldn't remember me" and soon added "Nevermind Catra. I know this is weird for you since you don't remember me at all, but you have to trust me with this. There is something you need to know.... this all here isn't real...and you have to wake up". She seemed to process that in some way. "how can I trust you? Can you prove me that this isn't real?" She asked. 

  
After I thought for a little time, I got an idea and grabbed her by the wrist and led her further in the woods. It was a hard work for me to explain everything to her, but eventually she believed me and I took her by the wrist again. I didn't had the time, I just had to find Razz. I was almost flipping out, but I soon found her shelter she lives in and she invited us in. Of course she was already expecting us to come. 

  
Razz told Catra she would send her in own head to restore some of her memories. it didn't took long and she was zoned out. "How come that you got her to come with you so fast?" Razz asked while she stood up. "I guess she kind of figured out by herself that this all is kind of wrong and now she just gets the right push in the right direction" I answered. 

  
Razz just shrugged and got down to Catra again to help her a bit. Like mental support or something. Then Catra woke up after what seemed like eternity "Are you okay Catra?" I asked her. She looked around just to make sure where she actually is.

"You know this is very confusing. I mean I woke up from this memory travel, but I didn't really woke up according to what you just told me because I am in a Koma." She said groaning. I could totally understand that . I mean I wouldn't know how to handle the situation.

  
We explained the things further to her and she was kinda stubborn. We eventually fully convinced her. Then she had some more visions and she started acting weird around me. I soon figured out why and we had little confrontation. _I wonder what she will actually remember of this when she'll wake up. Hopefully nothing._

  
"Its time to go" Razz told me and I stood up. I said goodbye to Catra and told her I believed in her and that she will make it, she just had to remember me and she'll make it. When I opened my eyes again I took a deep breath even if I couldn't explain why. 

  
When I looked around I was relaxing that everybody was still there. "How did it went?" Bow asked standing towards the door. I looked for Glimmer and soon found her sleeping on the ground. "She was very tired and you were away for a couple of hours. I wonder why nobody already busted us, but I think it is our luck day then" He stated. "I just hope she'll make it. We did what we could do.

"Everything went good, but I am not sure if she can do it on her own. You should get some sleep yourself... you look bad" I said caring. "Hey she'll make it I bet on it and yeah since you're awake I guess I can take a nap" he said giving me a smile. "Thank you " I said and he nodded and sat down to close his eyes.   
I turned around to see the person awake I didn't want to see awake ever again.

Shadow Weaver.

She woke up from her unconsciousness. "haha not bad using me as a source to get in Catras head.. but believe me she isn't going to make it. I mean she doesn't even remember you how would she want to come back?" she said laughing. "Is this some kinda game for you!" I said. "Nobody is playing a game Adora. You are just to selfish to let her be" She said smiling. 

  
She stood up and I did as well. "I guess I need to give her another brain wash so there is no chance for her to wake up" she said and her Magic took its way to Catra through the coffin, but I stepped between and the Magic was hitting me instead. _Well she couldn't harm me with it, even if she was always turning me down I won't let that get me_. I said those things to withstand the magic.

  
"Stay away from her! You already caused enough damage to both of us!". I said out loud "you are the only one who caused damage" she said turning up the Power. It hurt pretty bad but I didn't care. "Razz wherever you are take Glimmer and bow and take them out now!" I said loud. I soon could make out a noise I looked over my shoulder and saw Razz taking them and then she threw some of her berries and then they disappeared.

  
"So now you are alone" Shadow Weaver said. "It makes no difference. I. Will. Not. Let. You. Harm. Her. Ever. Again. I will rather die than let that happen" I said with anger in my voice. 

  
The pain no longer bothered me and then I took the Magic, which was coming out of her hands in my hands, so we where holding the ends of the red lightning both in our two hand pairs. I closed my eyes and tried to remember what Razz teached me.

_You have to find your inner peace before you can turn evil into good._

  
I felt the Power floating inside of me. Then I finally opened m eyes and the red lightning turned into blue lightning from my hands. It was a fight between blue and red.

I struggled hard to control it, but I eventually won the upper hand and thus forced Shadow Weaver to her knees.

"Adora?"

I heard a well-known pleasant voice croak.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OOF this chapter took me a while to edit. I hope I can upload chapter 13 as well bc chapter 12 and 13 are some kinda bundle. It is confusing for now and it will be explained eventually. So I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter its quite long. Also I hope you have a nice day!
> 
> Josi out!
> 
> Twitter:  
> https://twitter.com/Josilion?s=09


	13. Just remember me and you will make it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra is having the most confusing time in her life

**Catra**

* * *

When I walked around the corner I saw two little girls next to a door. "Yeah this is going to be fun" the left girl said. I soon realized that it was a little me and the other girl was little Adora. "Come on Adora don't be lame!" Little me begged. "Mhhh Okay... but you owe me" Little Adora groaned but smiled. She then removed the metal plate beneath the touchpad, where you can enter the code of the closed door. 

  
Whatever she did, she did it very quick and said "I reset the code are you ready?" Adora asked with a mischievous smile. Little me nodded. "I want to enter a new number!" Little me said exited. "What number you imagined?" Little Adora asked nosey. "You will see in a few moments" Little me said.

I walked towards them, just because I was nosey myself.   
Little me was just about to typ in the number, when I looked over my little ones shoulder. Adora did the same. "01197?" She asked. "Why this number though...oh wait has it a meaning?" She asked. "Maybe" Little me said smiling. "tell me!" Adora begged. "Instead you could use your brain to figure it out" I said. I was almost laughing for that roast. But that also meant that I won't figure it out as well.

  
Little Adora was thinking, but she soon gave up. "You really that oblivious?" Little me asked. Adora nodded embarrassed. "Well you're a little idiot" Little me said, smiling. Adora looked sad at this comment and even I was a bit confused why I had to be so rude, but I soon added "My little idiot" and all my shock vanished. It turned into cringe. 

  
_Why do I have to be so... cheesy?_ I added a groan and shocked my head.

"just for you to know, 0119 is your birthday and 7 stands for adventure in the numerology and being friends with you, means adventure" young me stated. Adoras eyes lit up like a candle. A big smile to be seen on her face. "Don't push it though" Little Catra said laughing. "I would never" she said laughing.

  
Soon the door was reprogramed and the two kids always had to laugh their asses of when someone wanted to go trough the door, but soon realized it wouldn't work.

_I can't believe we were so... annoying._

  
But soon the both younger versions of me and Adora vanished, like the drawing I couldn't recognize before.

 _Was that a searching game or what! I shouldn't have gotten involved in this crap_.

I continued walking. Then I heard loud screams and laughing. I was confused. I walked in the direction of the sound and it turned out someone was celebrating their birthday, in the Horde way obviously.

  
There were just lil me and Adora. They looked much older, but still not like us now. I came closer. "Happy Birthday Catra" lil Adora said giving me a packed gift, I couldn't identify. I unpacked it pretty fast. _Wow I really loved gifts then_. I lifted it up to see what it exactly was. My Metal hairband.   
"Its for your hair. You are always complaining that it annoys you in fights and I thought it would be just perfect for you" Adora said smiling.

I put it on and it was a little to big but lil me didn't care. She ran towards unsure Adora and hugged her. "I love it" She said. Eventually lil Catra realized what she was doing and took a step back. 

  
Adora was just smiling and I thought there was a slight blush spread over her cheeks. "I'm glad" Adora said and we got hand in hand out of the room.

_Wow we seemed pretty close in this world. And it seemed that Adora really liked me. Maybe that's why she wanted to get me back. Well I don't have much to say about her, since I don't know her and all, but she seems to really care then and now._

  
The memories no longer appeared physical, instead they were appearing in front of my eye. I guess that's what Razz said earlier with triggering some other memories. They were so fast I couldn't really follow them. 

  
In each of them was Adora and I laughing, training and so on. But eventually the flash of the memories stopped and I thought it was finally over, since this caused me more headache, but it wasn't, there was one last memory of me and Adora. We were very young I assumed this was the oldest memory of me and Adora. Maybe the oldest I could remember so far.

  
There was, of course lil me and Adora, whom were sitting next to each other. "Catra, I've known you since I can think, and that's not even that long, but I can tell, you have something on your heart." Adora said. 

  
_Wow for being so young, she was able to handle words pretty good_.

"I don't wanna talk about it" lil me said sad. "Okay that's fine, but just for you to know, nothing really bad can happen, as long as we have each other right?" lil Adora said smiling. 

  
lil Catra got out of her blanket and looked her deep in the eyes. "you promise?" she asked shyly and her voice almost cracked. It sounded like lil Catra cried. There was a little silence between them until Adora finally said "I promise".

Lil Catra began to smile. "Come on you wanna tell me now what happened?" Adora asked. _She was always so nosey._  
Little Catra sighed but then began to speak "It's just Shadow weaver. She is always so mean to me and I don't know why. She is nice to you. Is something wrong with me?" Catra said almost tearing up.

"No.. nothing is wrong with you. Listen Catra you are just like me.. a normal person. Even if you look different you still a person. Don't ever doubt that. Your a nice, sweet, sometimes caring, beautiful and funny person. Probably the best in my opinion" She said. I cringed a bit again, but I felt also touched by her words.

_She was so generous with her words. It was like she was way older than she looked like, at least when she spoke._

  
Little Catra began to cry and I could understand that. Adora opened her arms and embraced me. _Wow I was a little crybaby._

_The only thing I couldn't really understand, was that Shadow Weaver was mean. What was that supposed to mean? She was never mean to me. Besides why did I always get memories with Adora and never with someone else?_   
_This was so confusing._

But before I could think about this more a bright light came towards me and I shield myself with my arms.

  
"Are you okay Catra?" Someone asked concerned. I opened my eyes and there was Adora and Razz. So I was back again. "you know this is very confusing. I mean I woke up from this memory travel, but I didn't really woke up, according to what you just told me because I am in a Koma." I said groaning. " Yeah I agree this all is very complex..... did you got some of your memories?" Adora asked shy. 

  
"Well I got some of my memories back... but I have a question... why were those memories always with Adora. Every single memory I got was when I am with Adora" I asked Razz. "That's easy to explain. Your memories with Adora are the strongest and most powerful ones. Every other memory wouldn't have helped us. Even the traumatizing ones with Shadow Weaver wouldn't" She said standing up and walking around in the room. 

  
"There are still some things I don't understand-" but Razz cut me off. "Well that's not in our might now. I gave you back important memories which you'll need to come back. Those memories will be used as 'boost' for you so you have enough mental strength to wake up" she said loud but still calm.

  
I closed my mouth again. Adora put her hand on top of mine. "everything will be okay. The only thing you have to do is holding on onto the memories that means to you the most or you think will give you the most strength" She said smiling. Then she pulled her hand away and the place, where her hand were felt cold. 

  
Those memories gave me some weird vibes whenever Adora looked at me or touched me. "ok whatever I just want to get out of here. Things are getting weirder with every minute. Since only a tiny part of my memories came back, there are still some things that didn't came back and that makes it harder for me to put them together. In my memories Shadow weaver is mean but here she is super caring and everybody likes me here. And in my memories it seemed that nobody liked me. I mean why would I want to go back, when everything is better here?" I asked. 

  
_I mean I didn't know this girl and I met her like an hour ago. Maybe this was still just a trick to fool me._

  
I took a step back. Adora's face went paler then a white sheet of paper. "Catra you have to trust me this is serious. You are going to die if you don't wake up. Please I know this is all messed up. You don't remember me even if you got the memories back, but I remember you and you wouldn't want to die this way. Even if it all seems to be perfect here you would still feel weird"

  
She said tears to be seen. "Well that's good for you to say. Everybody liked you back in my memories and you always had to comfort me because I was such a cry baby. I don't get what you have from that, when I come back. We are enemies and it seems that I hate you. so why would you want this. Why would you want me!" I was getting louder with every word. She didn't say anything, so I got louder. "Why would you-". 

  
"Because I love you!" She cut me of.

My eyes widened and my chin fell down. "are you satisfied now? This is all because I love you and I can't stand the thought of you being dead. I can't stand the thought that I am never be able to see you again. Even if you hate me, even if you want to kill me, I don't care. I just want you to be fine okay" She said exhaling loudly with tears in her eyes.

I was touching my cheek and I could feel I was crying as well. 

  
Right in this moment there was a bright light again and with it some more memories. "What the-" but I soon stopped because I was focused on the new memories. After the short vision my heart pound 100 miles per hour. 

  
My cheeks felt heated and my eyes were wide open. "What happened you were zoned out" Razz asked. "Well I think I just had another memory vision" I said exhaling silently. "What was it?" Razz asked. I shook my head and felt the heat coming back in my cheeks. 

  
I took a short look to Adora but started to regret it. She was looking at me with her innocent face. I thought Adora understood, why I was feeling uncomfortable, whether that was good or bad, I couldn't say. I felt embarrassed. She came close to me and whispered in my ear. I could feel her warm breath witch gave me chills. 

  
"What was the vision about?" she asked. I was looking around but Razz was nowhere to be seen. "Where is the crazy lady?" I asked. Adora looked around and then she shrugged. "Wow I trained with her for so long and not even now I can become smart out of her" She said desperate. 

  
I was still a little overwhelmed by her declaration but it was like it never happened, at least we both pretended like it. I mean I would've said something back, if I would really know her. Even if I got some of the memories back I didn't know how to connect to them.   
Razz told me I wouldn't connect to all of them, but I didn't connected to any of them and that's what really got me frustrated.

"So you wanna tell me about the vision it could be helpful to know what you saw" She asked innocent.   
That was a lie. She totally knew that that wouldn't help. But this showed me that the memories were real. This Adora was just as nosey as the little one in my memories.

I let out a sigh.

"To satisfy your nosey-self I will answer that question, but just because you would annoy me if I don't" I said playful. "So you know how I tick?" she said interested. "Well in all those memories you were always annoying me when I didn't told you what I knew so yeah" I said rolling my eyes.   
She just laughed and I smiled automatically. 

  
I swear to god if this memory was the only memory I connected to, I will die.   
"So wanna tell me?" she asked. "Well... it was an intense moment" I explained. "between?" she asked putting her head forward in my direction. "You and me" I muttered, but I was sure she heard it. "Oh I get it..." she said leaning back on her arms. "you feeling uncomfortable? I mean because I am sure those memories must feel like someone elses" She asked me and I turned my head in her direction,   
But started to feel the heat again.

_Wtf is this and can it please go away I don't want this. I never felt this and I would be glad if it would stay like that._

"Actually this is the only memory I connected to" I said silent.   
I could tell she was surprised by that. "So you found your strongest memory then" She stated. "I guess" I said shrugging. "I am sorry to ask this but what exactly are we... or were we?" I asked. 

  
_I mean this was a valid question was it? Were we enemies? ex-best-friends? maybe ... more than that?_

I didn't get all of this. It's like Adora said, as if I were in my body, but I got the memories of somebody else and that mad me feel weird. 

  
"Well we used to be best friends and now we must hate each other because of our positions in war. At least it would be easier to hate each other, but you see how this went" She said laughing. "But what was this vision about? we seemed much closer" I said. 

  
"Well I don't know it either. After this incident, nothing like this happened again. I don't want to explain that further since I don't really know how much you will exactly remember of this afterwards" She explained and I nodded. 

  
Razz came in abruptly. "Adora it is time" she simply said. She stood up and I did as well. She looked me in my eyes and gave me a surprise hug. "This may be the last time I am able to do this. Please be careful. I am sure you can do it. Just remember me and you will make it. I promise" She said slowly vanishing and tearing up again. 

  
I said nothing. How would I even be able to say something. I stood there a few more moments.

 _Wait how am_ _I supposed to wake up? They didn't told me anything about how I could make it. Wow...just wow._

_**Just remember me and you will make it.** _

_What is that supposed to mean? Why is everything about me and her tho. As if everything has to do with us both._

Most of the memories were back in the Frightzone so I had to go back there and search for more clues. I left the shelter and It was still morning. I have to go back to the Frightzone I didn't want to waste more time.

  
The way to the horde was usually very long but just like I came into the forest before, I also came back into the Frightzone. With this weird teleportation. I didn't know where this came from. 

  
I walked inside the buildings and rushed down the halls, what I usually never did before, but I had this kinda rush-feeling, so I ran. There must be something. Something that gives me a sign where to go. Then I remembered some of my memories, where I was told Shadow Weaver was mean. 

  
_Maybe she has to do something with this_. I went into her chambers. I didn't questioned anything, not even the fact, that I could just enter her chambers this easily.   
But as I though there was nothing.

_They told me that I was in a coma. Where would Shadow weaver put me, while I was in a Koma? Probably nowhere, where someone could find me easily. Dammit. Is there a room in this place which I didn't know about? Wait Adora told me to think of her and I would make it and since this is all based on my imagination I can kinda create this world don't I? lets try this._

There was one room where Adora and I used to play all the time, which was unused until Shadow weaver used it as her second room. I never got why she needed a second room. _I just thought it was her bedroom, but a try wouldn't hurt._

  
Like in a bad horror movie it was in the basement. The Frightzone was like extinct. Nobody was there. literally nobody. before I could enter the hallway to my wished direction, I had to enter a code of the door. I tried the codes, which where used in the horde, but nothing worked.

**_Just remember me and you will make it._ **

I entered 01197. the door opened. _Wow ironic_. I almost ran the aisle along. I couldn't remember the exact room. _Was this some kinda puzzle? How to return to your own body, which is in a Koma_. Well I wasn't playing it then. There was a part of the puzzle, which was missing. I closed my eyes and started to concentrate. 

  
There was something I didn't recognized before, when I opened my eyes. Things started to get blurry, just like the drawing from the beginning. I had to make it. It can't just end here. Suddenly I started to hear voices even when they were very silent. "Stay away from her. You already caused enough damage to both of us". _Was this Adora?_ I started to walk around to figure out in which direction they would get louder.

"You are the only one who caused damage" another voice said, which sounded like Shadow Weaver. I finally stood in front of the door I searched for. I could barely see something. 

  
The blurriness went crazy, but I just opened the door, the last thing I saw was a blinding light and I broke down and everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha here is chapter 13. Wow I was very active today. I hope it was worth it. Anyways Its getting very interesting here. Maybe you can leave a comment how you think this story is. Critics are always welcome. I hope you enjoy your day and also this chapter.
> 
> Josi out!
> 
> Twitter:  
> https://twitter.com/Josilion?s=09


	14. Don't you touch her!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sore legs

**Adora**

* * *

I immediately stopped with what I was just on and turned around. There she was, in all her full splend... _Catra_. And this time she was real.

"Catra" was all I could say, almost whispering. For some reasons I couldn't move. I just stood there and stared at her and she did the same.

She then looked beside me and her eyes widened. "Adora watch out!" she shouted. 

I turned around and the only thing I felt, was an immense electric punch in my stomach, which made me bang against the wall, with my face first. "Adora!" a voice shouted. I tried to stand up as fast as I could, but I hit the wall pretty bad and my vision was a little blurry.

Then I felt warm liquid streaming down my cheek.   
First I thought it were tears and I was crying because of the pain, but when I touched it, to look, it was red. Shoot! that was blood.

_This is going to be a laceration on my left cheekbone_.

Shadow Weaver was also trying to recover. The punch really stole her last bit of magic and energy. We were both at the end of our powers. But as she was walking towards Catra, who was still lying in the coffin, my senses went crazy. 

  
I rushed there before Shadow Weaver could reach out her hand. "I wouldn't, if I were you" I growled. "Are you kidding? you don't seem to be able to stand on your feet long enough" She stated. "So are you" I said, still glaring at her. "I will never get what you feel... not then and not now. You were always so protective over her" She started to talk, as she was walking away.

 _Maybe she saw no sense in fighting right now._ As well as me.

"Every time she would be in danger or somebody started talking bad about her, you stepped in and beat the shit outta them or helped Catra to feel comfortable. Why can't you be egoistic and start to think about you?" she complained. 

  
"Well, I don't like People, that I care for, getting hurt. Its called feelings, something that you never heard of." I said growling and spread my arms to shield the coffin. Shadow Weaver tried to distract me, so I would get reckless. I knew her too well for it, to really work on me. Like I predicted, she was rushing towards me, but I dodged the attack. Instead the glas coffin shattered behind me and I turned around worried, but Catra was fine.

  
She was just unconscious. I just assumed the whole situation was too much for her body. Shadow Weaver was just out of control. The problem was I had no powers left and I was afraid, that I couldn't safe Catra. I collected all my power, which was left and tried to bundle them. I dodged every attack from Shadow Weaver, even if she got closer with ever attack, until I could control my power.

  
The next attack from Shadow Weaver was her last because, when she attacked me with her red magic, I caught it and held it in my hand. It soon changed its color and grew bigger, as I threw it back to her. The room lit up and when it hit Shadow Weaver she flew out of the room, together, with the door. I fell on my knees and tried to breath. I then rushed to the coffin. 

  
"Catra... Catra wake up!" I said shaking her softly. She didn't woke up and it was getting frustrating especially, when her heartbeat started to slow down. "No..no you don't! this is not happening right now!" I shouted. I heard different sounds coming closer. I removed the shards of glass, laying on her and took her into my arms. I then sat down on the ground, holding her close to me. "Listen to me you can't die right now, you hear me! you hear me!" I cried out. 

  
_Everything was for nothing. I didn't got the chance to talk to her and even my mistakes between us. I didn't got to say to her how bad everything went and that all this was not supposed to happen. Nothing of this should have happened_.

I layed my head on hers and cried. I just sat there and cried. My otherwise strong will, was gone. The soldiers were coming closer, but I didn't care.   
Then several soldiers entered the room and pointed their electric-staffs towards me and Catra. Some of them were coming closer and my grip just tightens around Catra.

"Don't you touch her!" I screamed, slapping their hands, which were trying to reach out for Catra. They then were about to shoot the electric weapons, but I was angry. I was really angry and nothing could have stopped me in this moment. 

  
I felt an unknown power coming up inside of me. The room lit up and some of the soldiers were stepping back, but others didn't. It took me a while to realize the light was coming from me. "I will break every single bone of your body, if you make one more step!" I shouted and my voice was different. It was full of anger and it sounded kinda echoing. 

  
I felt my body aching and growing. I didn't know what was happening with me. I stood up with Catra in my arms. I carried her bridal style, but with only one arm. She looked so little in my arms, lying there with her eyes closed. And then the soldiers made a big mistake and shoot their guns at me. 

  
I held my hand in front of me, to catch the power of the electrics and creating a ball of pure electricity.. I absorbed the power and little green lightnings were dancing over my skin. It tickled a bit, but I didn't care. The soldiers were getting afraid and some of them were running away. 

  
The ones, who didn't ran, were trembling, still pointing their weapons at me. "This is the last chance. You can run or you can die" I said with an aggressive voice. They decided to obey and ran. It was better this way. I closed my eyes. I was still in my aggressive Adora mode and my form stayed like this.

  
With the power I had left, I decided to teleport us out of the Frightzone. I imagined Brightmoon in my mind. I knew I hadn't enough power to really teleport us there, but we would get at least out of here. I was so glad I trained with Razz so much. She was a great magician and tried to involve me in this whole matter. 

  
I always struggled a little with it, but I had no other choice, I was pretty sure the soldiers would come back with more soldiers or whatever. I led the power to my right hand then to close my hand and throwing it on the ground. We soon disappeared and stood in the middle of the woods. 

  
I exhaled and layed Catra on the ground, but very careful.

_What is happening with me? I couldn't protect Catra. How am I supposed to protect Etheria?_

Suddenly my body started to get to its normal shape. I sat down beside Catra.

_Maybe I am in a Coma. It must be a Coma. This can't be real....Even if it was a dream, I couldn't just let Catra lie at the ground like that._

  
I had to go back to Brightmoon. _Somebody must help her._

I lifted her and carried her on my back. My legs were shaking and almost giving up, but I couldn't just sit here doing nothing, so I started to walk. I ignored the pain and every thought. She will make it she has to. I was a bit relieved, when I heard her mumbling something. I didn't know in what state she was in. _Was she sleeping or unconscious?_ But nevertheless I had to reach Brightmoon as fast as I could. I won't risk anything now. 

  
Catra was getting heavier with every step and my legs were not lasting any longer I knew it, but it wasn't far from here. _Get your ass up Adora you can make it!_

After a little while, in which I was struggling a lot, I finally reached the bridge that led us to the castle. I smiled and I tried to make the last steps, when my legs decided to let me down, like literally. I fell on my face...again, but this time with Catra on my back.   
I couldn't feel any pain, at this moment I didn't felt anything actually. I heard steps and voices. "Adora omg!". 

  
"Adora can you hear me?" Someone asked. "Yeah... I can but I feel like I am going to faint any moment" I said unclear. "Everything is okay, your here now... Someone help me here! we have two injured people!" The person screamed. "Hey as long as I am awake... I wanna say... please take Catra first, she isn't going to make it, if you treat me first. I know we haven't enough medicine personal but please...she must be treated first" I said. 

  
"But Adora you doesn't look too good yourself... and haven't you always said that you should first help the people who are still breathing and where the likelihood of them living is higher?" The person said. I figured it was Glimmer, by the way she talked. "Please I know what I said... just please help her first.. I don't care about me... that's the most important thing for me right now please Glimmer" I said almost begging. 

  
I didn't realized the guards were already carrying us in the castle, until we entered a bright room. But I couldn't really stay awake any longer, my body was shutting itself down and I closed my eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha lmao I am so lazy its not normal. I am so sorry guys but here is chapter 14. Sometimes I forget I should upload something. Anyways hopefully you enjoyed it its a short chapter, but not so bad. Finally they have Catra, have they?
> 
> Twitter:  
> https://twitter.com/Josilion?s=09


	15. I should be angry

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Redemption arc

**Catra**

* * *

It was just a short time, in which I saw Adora in front of me. This was the first time I saw her for real. Even though I don't know, how she figured out that I was here and in a coma.

_I mean it was just 2 days ago, when I last saw her, was it?_

  
We were staring at each other, not moving. I mean I wasn't even able to move but she just stood there. But then I saw something moving behind her and tried to warn her, but it was too late she banged to the wall and hit her head. "Adora!" escaped my mouth immediately. 

  
I saw to my left and there she stood.

Shadow Weaver.

I didn't get, what she was doing here. _Why did she put me in a coma?_ But then I started to remember the scene, before she brought me here. _Maybe this nice act of her was just a trick. How could I've been so blind._

  
But suddenly my body started to decide to sleep or what ever it was doing. I was just lying there not able to move or use any of my senses. It was all shut down. 

The next time I opened my eyes I instantly regret it. The bright light blinded me hard and I started hissing automatically. "Hey she is awake! call the princesses!" someone said. _Princesses? What the heck is happening._

  
I tried to open my eyes a second time. There were some people, who I didn't know. I was getting very uncomfortable and panic. I looked to my right and to my left. _Was this some kinda hospital?_ I sat up frantically, but this turned out to be a mistake and caused me pain. _Why did my body hurt so much?_

  
The people leaved the room and instead some familiar faces entered . Sparkles and the Bow guy were walking to my bed. "What the fuck happened? Am I your prisoner? Or is this another dream? What did you do to me while i was sleeping?" I exploded with questions. 

  
"Calm down Catra you were almost dying, so we decided to help. And yes for now you will be our captive, because we don't know how you will react to all this" Sparkles said. "I don't get it. I was dying?... how. How did I get here then and why am I not in the Frightzone?" I asked angry. 

  
"Ok let me explain this to you the fastest way I can. You were in a coma for about a month and the Frightzone didn't attack, so Adora got an odd stomach feeling and decided to look after you. We entered the Frightzone and me and Bow headed away, while Adora was looking after you. She told us to go without her if she takes to long, so we did. But then some crazy lady joined the party and said Adora was in danger, so we went back, and there she was, tied up, tortured on the wall, from Shadow Weaver, you beside her in a coffin. Then they went in your head and we waited. Me and Bow were sleeping, when razz took us back to Brightmoon. I don't know why though. But after a while I was getting very worried about Adora and what could have happened between Shadow Weaver and her. So I looked on our entry, to make sure she is ok, when she arrives. After a time that felt like eternity she arrived, not alone, with you on her back, powerless and almost fainting. She fell on the ground but made sure you were fine. I wanted to help her first, since you were almost dead. don't take it personal. But she said: help her first that's all I want. She didn't care about herself she just wanted you to be save. And then she fainted. And before you ask, no she didn't woke up yet. She looked really bad back then and I am afraid she won't make it" Sparkles said tearing up at the end of the story. 

  
The memories of the last few hours came back to me and also everything else. _She is such an idiot to put me over her well being. Adora why do you have to be so dumb?_

"How long have I been here?" I asked emotionless. " Not long, less than a day" Bow said with Sparkles in his arms.   
I needed a short time to work with all this emotion and information first.

"So Shadow Weaver put me in a coma and I was one full month in there. Then you decided to rescue me, because Adoras stomach told you so. After that you were able to get me back to reality and save me from dying?" I said in disbelieve. "Well Adora did" Bow said. 

  
I was thinking. "Can I see her?" I asked. "It would be better if we wait until you can move without feeling pain" Sparkles finally said. I wouldn't bring anything, if I discuss that now, because they wouldn't let me.

  
_I should be angry at Adora for leaving me behind in the horde. I should actually hate her. But I couldn't. She could try to kill me and that wouldn't change my mind. She saved my life and risked her own._ And I couldn't get the things out of my mind she said while she was in my head. "Because I love you!" _How did she meant that?_ I was so confused.

  
_I swear Adora if you don't wake up I am going to beat you up._ I needed answers.

After that "talk", the Bow guy and Sparkles left and I was alone. And I still didn't know why I felt that pain. But then a weird old Lady entered the room and I tensed a bit up. I didn't like people I didn't know. 

  
"You must be Catra?" she said, smiling at me. "Who wants to know that?" I asked back. "Well I want, but it was actually a rhetorical question... I already know you're Catra" She said. "I don't get what you.... Oh wait! You are this Lady that was in my head with Adora. I remember now! I guess I have to ... you know.... this appreciation stuff" I said confused. "You mean you want to thank me?" she asked. "Yeah yeah that stuff" I said embarrassed. "Don't mind it" she said. 

  
"So what are you doing here?" I asked. "Well I am sure you feel pain don't you?" she asked. "Well yeah I do... and I assume you can give me an answer why it is like this" I said crossing my arms in front of my chest. "Well yeah... since you've been in that coma for almost a whole month, your body didn't got the chance to move a centimetre. That means your body has to get used to movement. After a whole month not walking and all, your body needs to recover. I am sure that was why you couldn't move, when you woke up the first time" She explained. Well that made kinda sense in my opinion. 

  
"And what should I do now?" I asked concerned. "Well normally you have to move, even if it hurts, but I don't give you this burden. I can heal you in no time" She said. I was thinking. "If you can heal me with your magic, can't you heal Adora too, since she is in a worse state than me?" I asked.

  
"That's the problem... I can't...what you have is physical pain and that is easy for me to heal, but Adora has way more than just physical pain. the Magic she used, to get you both out of there, really got on her last powers. She was on the verge of death, but she is stable for now" She explained. "How does she look?" I asked.

  
"Not good, she usually has a strong will, but I felt that she kinda lost it since she thought you were dead. Her last stand, was that you were half dead and then she fainted. She is fighting with herself, whether it is worth it living in a world were you're dead or not. She doesn't know you're fine, so it would be good that you visit her you know".She explained. 

  
"How exactly do you know how she feels?" I asked confused. "So you don't question why I can heal you but you question why I can read Adoras feelings?" She asked. "Well it seems healing is a something normal here, since you're all princesses and stuff" I defended me.

  
"It is okay I don't judge you. This is a new environment for you and Adora not waking up doesn't make it better" she said. my eyes widened "How would you know, that... you know what? Nevermind you probably read my feelings too" I said giving up. Then there was a silence and I felt a bit uncomfortable, that she might read the rest of my secrets so I decided to get the healing process over with. 

  
The Lady, who turned out to be called Razz did some weird hand signs and light shows and I was feeling better right after _. Wow that's really something I won't get used to._

I stood up slowly I didn't wanted to rush things. "thanks" I murmured, but she wasn't there anymore. _What the heck?_

  
I just tried to forget what happened within the last 20 minutes and stood up. My steps were slowly and small. I may felt no pain anymore, but my legs felt still like pudding, so I took my trembling steps outside of the room. It must've been funny to watch because I looked so ridiculous. 

  
I went outside of the castle. I literally didn't know how I managed to even find the exit to this maze, but somehow I did and I was glad because I needed fresh air.

 _What happened ? Where am I supposed to go? back to the horde where shadow weaver is, who probably wants to put me back in a coma? Or here were most of the people hate me for being a horde soldier?_ I was desperate. _Here was Adora... but there was my home wasn't it?_

  
Suddenly a cold breeze was in the air and I started to shiver. But that was actually a good sign because it meant I could feel something again. I breathed in and exhaled the cold freezing air. It burned in my lungs.   
"having a rough day?" someone unknown asked from behind me. I turned around to see who it was, but it wasn't a familiar face.

_Just perfect. A unknown person coming from behind and talking to me that's exactly what I need right now._ "You're Catra right?" she asked. "Why the heck does every unknown person in this castle know my name?!" I asked desperate more to myself.

  
"Well in the last few hours, was a very uncertain atmosphere around. We didn't know what happened to Adora and the others within the last hours, mostly because they didn't thought it was necessary to tell us they'd go on a suicide mission" she said laughing bitterly. " And all this trouble was because Adora wanted to rescue you so badly... no offense" she explained. 

  
"Yeah I get it she is the hero of the hour" I said rolling with my eyes. "You don't like her huh?" she asked with a apologizing smile. "That's none of your business" I spat. "Whatever you say... but I know you tryna play it cool, like you are the tough one... you better get rid of that antic... people with to much pride will most likely lose, let me tell you" she explained. 

  
"Like if you know me, telling me what to do" I said pissed.   
"I wouldn't say I know you, but I know your type. I was just like you when I was about your age. I was so stubborn and pride about everything, that I wouldn't admit my mistakes, until it was to late. I never told anyone what I really wanted and I never did what I really wanted, because I had to prove to everyone that I was strong, that I was perfectly fine without them, when really I was just lonely. That's when everybody turned against me, At least I told that myself. My wife was the only one who didn't, but I couldn't see it because I was so blinded by my anger. In the end she rescued me from my suffer and taught me how to forgive, how to stop denying everything, how to express myself and I learned that I was enough." she told me her whole life story. 

  
"why does everybody try to analyze me tho. I can handle the situation on my own... god!" I said out loud. " Ha just like me... you don't have to instantly understand, but keep my words in your mind they will help you someday" she said. 

  
I didn't answer I just wanted this conversation to end. "I am going to give you some space to think. Even if you don't like Adora at least thank her for this... hopefully she wakes up so you even have the chance" she said and the last part was whispered but I could totally understand her. Then she entered the castle again. 

  
_Finally I couldn't stand her lecturing me any seconds longer_. But maybe I was just pissed because she was right. At least in some things. I sighed. "I know you can make it Adora" I whispered.

Night was falling. I never had seen the sunset in real life. The Frightzone is so full of fog, dirt and smoke that you never really got the chance to see something as beautiful as this. I felt empty. I stayed there until the sun was nowhere to be seen anymore.

  
I was pretty sure the 'visit time' was officially over. So now it is my turn to see her. I struggled a bit when I started climbing on the wall at first but I soon regained my strength. I took me sooooooo long to find her room, but eventually I saw a room with a 'normal' bed in it and just assumed it was hers. I didn't get why she was held here and not in the 'hospital'. 

  
I entered the room and looked around. It was to colored for my taste. All this pastel was way too much. That doesn't fit to Adora. But even I had to admit, that this environment was way better than in the Frightzone.

_She probably had the best time of her life here, slowly forgetting her past in the Frightzone.....and.....well....me._

  
That thought shocked me so hard that I almost had a little panic attack. _Wow wow Catra calm the f*ck down. What is happening man?_

But it was true it would have been easy to forget everything... to move on.   
But it seems that even with her new friends and everything here, she could not forget me. At least that would explain why she came in the Frightzone to 'save' me. But it pissed me off that I was in that coma for a whole month.

  
_Now everything was so weird with everything Adora said to me and how protective she was. I don't understand why she did all of this. Why did she leave me behind in the first place, when I was soooo important to her? Why couldn't she just stay with me in the horde... our home?_

  
While I was thinking, I sat down on the edge of her bed. She laid on her back, her hands crossing on her stomach. At least they put her own new and clean clothes. She looked pale. "You know... this Razz told me I should come over to give you a bit support... I am just here because she told me too and not because I like you...because I do not" I said in a normal tone.

  
She didn't move a single centimetre. _As if she would wake up just because I talk to a sleeping person._ I had the sudden urge to laugh at this because it had to look so stupid.

Even though she just laid there with her eyes closed she looked beautiful.   
I would never tell her that, but she always has been kinda perfect in my eyes.

_Wow now I remembered that vision of me when I was back in the coma in my head._ The little version of me was also very cheesy. The difference was that I stopped saying out loud what I thought. 

  
She looked so innocent. I took in every detail of her. Her chest rising and falling with every breath. Her stupid hair puff, her muscular body. _Wait am I checking her out OMG!_

My face felt very hot and I turned away quickly. _As if Adora could see any of this right now pff._

  
"Can you just stop being you for one moment Adora? I swear you have to wake up so I can be mad at you again. It is really boring when you can't argue back you know" I said desperate. _She winced in her dream? or wherever she was right now._ I didn't know if I should have been relieved or not. 

  
"Don't...." she murmured. I was confused. "No don't... I can let go, but don't hurt her" she said slowly and silent...very unclear. _What was she talking about?_ Then I realized she was crying and I was overwhelmed with the situation. 

  
I've never seen her cry in all the time we spend together and seeing her cry in that moment made me feel uncomfortable. "Hey Adora everything is alright nobody has to get hurt, nobody has to let go" I whispered in her ear trying to calm her down.

  
I didn't know If it would even go through to her. "I am begging you" she whimered. "I will sacrifice everything" and that was the moment where I knew it could get serious. "Hey Adora stop talking so much sh*t and wake up!" I said louder to her.   
I started to shake her, but not to hard. I started panicking and I tried to figure out, what could help me to wake her up.

Then I remembered our Ritual we used to do or...its more her Ritual when I was having a very bad dream or had a panic attack. _I was a very broken Kid...still are...but hey I still live._

  
Now It was my turn to give her some of her own sweet medicine. I sat me on her bed and laid her head in my lap. Then I started stroking her hair and humming a melody we used to love when we were kids. But actually I was calming myself more than Adora. She still whimered and cried and I was afraid she is going to die on the way to wake up.

  
I then pulled her up in my lap, so she was half way sitting in my lap and I hugged her from behind. My left hand still on her head to pat her and my right arm around her waist.   
"Adora wake up you are scaring me!" I said louder. "No no no no"she said repeatedly. I just moved from left to right to calm her. Then I felt tears streaming down my face.

"Hey Adora hear me on if you can hear me! I am alive ok? I am alive sitting here and crying because you think you have to pull this whole sacrifice cliche. Stop right now or I will be mad at you for the rest of your life." I said out loud. 

  
She then went quiet. _Really that was all I had to do to calm her. Omg this is so ridiculous_ , but I was just happy she calmed. But she still didn't woke up. _What is she doing? Was she in some kinda request she had to pass if she want to wake up?_

  
Then I heard a loud gasp and the person in my lap set up and looked frantically around herself. When she turned around she looked me in my eyes . I froze. We stared into each others eyes, when Adora pulled me into a hug abruptly. 

  
I wanted to ask what the matter was, but she soon began to sobs and I closed my mouth again. I was so relieved that she didn't died or anything, that it was hard for me to move any muscle, but I eventually rubbed her back and drew circles. 

  
"Adora everything is fine. Your good, I am good, so everything is fine alright?" I asked and I soon was wondering if I questioned it to her or more to myself. "I was so- a-aafrai...d yy-" I shushed her. "I know I know, but I am here okay" I said calm. 

  
Her grip just tightens and I hardly became air to breath. "You wanna tell me what happened?" I questioned slowly. She just shock her head. I understood that she didn't wanted to talk about it right now, but I was still a bit hurt. "I just want to be here right now" She whispered. "You know I can't really go anywhere, mostly because you clinging on me, but secondly because I can't really go back to the Horde, can I?" I asked and smiled sarcastically. 

  
"I don't know...I actually thought you were super mad at me and want nothing to do with me ever again. You can just...I don't know....leave and do whatever you want... like live...your fully free" She said and I heard the sad tone. "Just for your record, I am not going anywhere, besides its not that shitty here, considering the circumstances and all. But don't you think I just forgive you. I am still super mad at you" but you can use my help right now and I wasn't even sure you were going to wake up so... yeah I added in my head. 

  
"Noted" she said and snuggled into my arms. I just sighed. "Can you not just admit that you enjoy this too?" She asked out of nowhere. "Ha I would never tell you, even if" I said out loud. "Why are you always so stubborn?" She sighed. Then there was silence. 

  
"...I am sorry Catra.... for like..everything that happened. I didn't want to leave you, but my fate didn't gave me much of a choice. Since I am She-ra now, I have major responsibilities to take care of. Its just... everything went down since I defected... my whole life I was trained to be the perfect one. "Everybody is looking up to Adora you can't fail" was what they told me every day. I just want to save everyone. But all I ever did was failing and hurting people I care for. How can somebody suck so much at helping?" She groaned.

  
_"You know I was always jealous of you back in the Horde. You had much friends and everybody liked you, but me? they hated me...everybody did at some point. I mean I am weird right? You were the only person that really cared for me. Even when I didn't needed your help, you would help regardless what I told you. We wanted to rule the world and then you defected. I admit this hit me a bit. And then Shadow weaver couldn't look at me because I was so broken. I was always second best and people kept pushing me away. Maybe that's why I think I have to prove myself so much or pushing people away that really wanted to help me...like you"_ I said... at least I wished I could have said that to her and I realized I almost quoted that woman from before. 

  
Whoever she was she had no idea how much all she had said fit to me. Its almost terrifying. And then we both hung on to our own thoughts. It was such a familiar habit of us that I almost forgot we are in Brightmoon.

  
I soon could hear a little snore from Adora and I looked down at her. She was fast asleep and I couldn't resist. I just had to smile. Well I didn't thought our reunion would be so short after she defected. I actually thought we would have to fight us and then we get in a life-or-death-situation. I am actually glad we didn't, but I am afraid at the same time.

  
I had a hard time to get out of Adoras grasp but I finally had the chance, when she stretched herself in her sleep. I made sure Adora was right in her bed again and then squatted in front of her. 

  
"I really would love to go back to how it was between us and just be together again, just like we were when you woke up from your nightmare or whatever you were in then, but my ego is too hurt to be willing to forgive and forget everything. I just need... I don't know...time? or space? This has been the craziest day in my life and I just have to cope with it somehow. I kinda have to find my destiny now, since ruling the world is no longer an option. And I think I kinda have to do that without you. Ahh this is so complicated!.... I am sorry" I said whispering and hoping this sweet little traitor was really sleeping.   
_She won't fool me again with that_.

I looked at her face and frowned. _That is so hard_. I moved forward and gave her a kiss on her forehead. I stood up and felt... relieved? I don't know but it felt good.

_I think I can begin new now._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha maybe not so inactive after all, am I? I guess i just felt kinda bad I didn't upload in so long, that I finished this long chapter as well. I call it for today at least, so I hope you enjoyed it and let me know what you think of the story if you like to do that. Anyways I hope you have a nice day love ya'll!
> 
> Twitter:  
> https://twitter.com/Josilion?s=09


	16. From start

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> recovering from events

**Adora**

* * *

When I first woke up everything was dark, not that dark, that I couldn't see anything, but I assumed it was night. I sat up, with a sharp gasp. _Everything, felt so real_. I turned around hastically and then I recognized a person behind me who looked like Catra.   
_Wait what?!_

  
I looked at her. She sat still and stared back at me her eyes wide open. It seemed that she had been crying too, even though I don't knew why. I immediately had the urge to hug her and cry.

And so I did.

She did nothing against it and I was relieved she didn't.   
Then I started to sob. It just came with everything that had happened within the last day. Or even Month. Me not being able to see if Catras ok, her being in a coma (formerly), Shadow Weaver, She-ra and everything. It was just so much. But she didn't say anything, whether this was good or not. 

  
Then I felt she was hugging me back and drew circles on my back. It was calming. "Adora everything is fine. "Your good, I am good, so everything is fine alright?" She asked and I just blurted out "I was so- a-aafrai...d yy-" She shushed me. 

  
"I know I know, but I am here okay" She tried to satisfy me, but my grip only tightens because of my sudden fear of loss "You wanna tell me what happened?" She questioned whispering it almost in my ear, which gave me chills down my spine. But I just shock my head. 

  
I was too much of a burden right now, but soon added "I just want to be here right now" so that she isn't that mad that I didn't want to talk about it. "You know I can't really go anywhere, mostly because you clinging on me but secondly because I can't really go back to the horde can I?" She said sarcastically. 

  
_That was exactly the Catra I knew._ "I don't know I actually thought you were super mad at me and want nothing to do with me. You can just I don't know leave and do whatever you want... like live, your fully free" I said sad and in a much more clear voice than a few seconds ago. 

  
_But it was right. Catra was practically free. She could do anything. Maybe even do what I did to her._

I soon turned sad again. "Just for you to notice I am not going anywhere, besides its not that shitty here, considering the circumstances and all. But don't you think I just forgive you. I am still super mad at you" She said in a clear tone. 

  
It was almost like she was going to add something, but then decided against it. "Noted" I only said because I didn't want to argue or pick a fight in my state. Instead I just pushed me further in her arms. Then a sigh escaped her mouth "Can you not just admit that you enjoy this too?" I asked hopefully.

  
"Ha I would never tell you even if" Catra said out loud. "Why are you always so stubborn?" I sighed. Nobody was talking for a moment, but I decided, to take this chance that we were alone and this "intimate" to say what had must've been said a long time ago.

  
"I am sorry Catra.... for like everything that happened. I didn't want to leave you, but my fate didn't gave me much of a choice. I am She-ra now and I have major responsibilities to take care of. Its just... everything went down since I defected... my whole life I was trained to be the perfect one. "Everybody is looking up to Adora you can't fail" was what they told me every day. I just want to save everyone. But all I ever did was failing and hurting people I care for. How can somebody suck at helping?" I just groaned, but basically just because I wanted to cover my upcoming wave of emotions. 

  
She seemed to inhale the info and think about it. I didn't expect her to answer, I wouldn't either. So I just laid there hoping that everything could've just stayed the way it were. But I knew when I am closing my eyes to sleep and I would open my eyes again, she would be gone and everything would be from start.   
I silent tear rolled over my cheek.

_Whatever comes next, I can't let it take myself over. I have to be strong from now on. For Etheria. For my Friends. For Me and for Ca...._

But then my eyes felt heavy and I closed them.

* * *

  
The next time I opened my eyes I was instantly tackled by an, so far, unknown person. I tensed up and was ready to fight against my enemy, but it turned out that Glimmer was on top on me and I decided not to give her a drop kick... _yet._

  
"You're finally awake!" She said. "Seems like it" I said and chuckled that she was so enthusiastic about it. Bow just stood on the other side of the room and looked amused at the scenario. He came towards us embracing both of us in his arms lifting us up. 

  
"Omg Bow let us down!" Glimmer squealed. But Bow held us up just another few seconds. "I am very glad you guys are here, but I can't really breath right now" I said under my last breath until Bow let us down and I freeed myself.

  
"What exactly happened?" I asked. They both exchanging looks and Bow decided to explain the story or whatever was going to be explained.   
"Well you carried Catra on your back when you came here and said we should help her first what we did and then you fainted. We brought you in a hospital, but soon figured you didn't had any worse injuries that would have really gotten you killed. Razz told us about your state and we brought you in your room. And then we waited for you to wake up. We were so afraid at some point, but then like almost midnight Catra told us you woke up but we should wait til now to visit you because she said you were not sleeping well until that time" Bow explained. 

  
"It felt so unreal but yesterday really happened did it?" I asked. Both nodded and I sighed. "Well I feel good now" I said and sat up on the edge of my bed. "Hey we aren't in a hurry take your time" Glimmer said and stood quickly by my side. 

  
I just laughed that she is so protective about me. "What about the horde? Weren't they like going to attack us?" I asked standing up. "Yeah they probably will in a few days. We need a meeting with all of the alliance so we can plan our next steps. And we don't know what is up with Catra. She is still dangerous for us" Glimmer said. 

  
"If she would have wanted to go back, don't you think she would've left by now. I don't really think she is a threat anymore" I answered. "Ever heard of a spy?" Glimmer asked raising her eyebrow. "Well then somebody must keep an eye on her so you can be satisfied" I said shrugging. 

  
"Whatever...can I have a walk alone? to sort my mind a bit?" I added, when nobody was saying something. They both looked at me concerned. "Guys I am ok...I just need a bit time to recover from the events" I said smiling. 

  
Both of them eyed me from the side but gave me permission to leave the room by myself. I didn't know where I wanted to go, but my feet led me to the throne of the queen. "Queen Angella?" I asked hesitantly, making sure I didn't disturb her. "Is that you Adora?" She asked and then I came up behind the door, so she could finally see me fully.   
"Yeah it is me" I answered a bit afraid. "You're okay?" she asked. "Yeah I am fine" I answered.

The awkward silence made me crazy. "You had a reason to come here?" She asked after a while. "Ehm actually my feet kinda led me here. But since I am here...I guess I have to apologize for my recent actions. It was super dangerous to leave without telling or any plans. It was an impulse and it won't happen again." I said.   
She looked at me with an undefined expression on her face.

"It was as a matter of fact very stupid and naive to do this. You could've gotten yourself hurt or worse even killed. I wouldn't have known what I would have done if that happened. But I can't change that now. But I will have to punish you though. I hope you understand. This is my duty as a queen." She explained.   
I just nodded silently. "Whatever punishment you will give me I'll take it" I said and waited for her to give me further explanations. "I will discuss your punishment with my consultant and I will give you the details later the day" She said and rubbed her forehead.

  
I took that as an sign to leave so I saluted and left the room.

_That could've been worse than this, but still I don't know what my punishment is going to be. I am just glad that Bow and Glimmer didn't get involved at this._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Heya e new chapter can you believe that I am so active, no? I neither. Nevertheless I hope you enjoyed the chapter. Have nice day you all!! love ya all <3


	17. Open up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra dives in her new life

**Catra**

* * *

After I exited Adoras room I looked around to find some place where I could sleep. I didn't want to sleep in the hospital. It was so cold and lonely and everybody could just enter the room without me knowing it. Even though I had a light sleep.   
I just didn't felt save enough around here... yet. I was walking along the aisles and was thinking.

_how would it have been if I had come here when I had the chance? If I had decided to go with Adora instead of taking her betrayal as a punch in the guts?_   
_I should stop thinking about how things would have turned out if...if...if. There is no if. And there wasn't one back in the horde when I asked myself what would have happened if Adora and I wouldn't have get out in the Whispering Woods. the things are how they are. I should make the best out of it._   
_It was better for both of us. I should find out what my next steps are._

While I was thinking about my life I recognized a dim light at the end of the aisle.  
I walked in the direction of it just to make sure what it was. Turns out it was just some empty hall room with a fireplace in it. Besides the fireplace there were a couple couches and and a little table. 

  
Seems like a room to like relax, if this was a thing here. I didn't know it exactly we didn't had so much comfortable things in the horde besides the bed we slept in.   
I sat down on one of the couches and stared in the fireplace. Something in the fire made me feel depressed. 

  
_What should I do now? I had nothing left. No home. No one I could rely on. The only thing I was looking forward to was the hordes attack plans. It was so weird. Not long ago I was planning revenge plans to destroy Brightmoon and the Rebellion, Adora implied. How life strikes your plans. Am I even a part of the Rebellion? Would they even accept me?_

  
"Hey what are you doing here this late?" someone asked. I jumped up at that sudden loud sound that echoed in the hall. I looked in the direction where the voice came from, just to see that Bow was entering the room.   
"You should rest Catra it's very late and you had a rough day" He said and it sounded like he was caring. In my eyes something that actually nobody does... at least not in my present. "Fine I'll go" I simply said and was about to leave. 

  
"Catra wait...I didn't mean to be rude I am just worried" He said crossing his arms in front of his chest. "Ha as if.." I laughed. "Well yes I do... Even though we don't know each other that well and you were a member of the horde just a few hours ago...Adora has faith in you and I trust her" He explained rubbing his eyes.   
I looked at him in disbelief. _I remember the time back in the horde before Adora defected. We took over some places around Etheria. And I guess Arrow Boy and Sparkles are the only ones, who I can remember being there too to defend the villages._

  
 _Adora never came with us, because Shadow Weaver said she will be prepared for something bigger than just a small raid._ Just the thought made me mad.   
Arrow seemed to notice and sat down beside me on the couch. "You know I totally understand how you must feel right now. You let your home behind you and everything with it. And you probably think everybody hates you here, because you were a horde soldier and we fought against you just a few month ago, but trust me that's just temporary. Adora was going through the same thing. She even had a time where she wanted to give everything up, because she was so insecure about all of... well this She-ra and major responsibilities stuff. What I am trying to say is... I see you don't feel good right now and maybe you can try to open up to somebody and it don't have to be me. Somebody you can trust or you want to open up about. Trust me with this... it is always helpful to have someone to talk to" He said and smiled at me. 

  
All this time he talked I listened... for once in my life. _I guess he was right_.   
_Do he want to hear a thank you or why is he staring at me like this? Oh god no..._

  
"Thanks I guess" I murmured. "Oh its alright....btw where are you going to sleep?" He asked. "Well I was just about to get ready for sleep in this room" I explained. "Catra you know we have a spare room for guests?" He said. "Well now I do" I said rolling with my eyes.  
"come on I'll show you before you sleep on the ground" He said offering me a hand to stand up. Even though I knew I didn't need his hand to stand up I took it just to make a point. He led me through the halls where I was walking through just a few minutes ago by myself.   
Then he stopped in front of a big golden white door. Everything here was so shiny and every time I look at this or touched it I feel like these things are worth more than me. 

  
He opened the double door for me to enter the room. What a gentleman. What a pity I don't feel attracted to boys. This specimen was some real material. Anyways. Bow gave me a short tour and told me where everything is.   
"If you need anything I am just across your room" He said smiling. I nodded at him and he was about to leave when he asked "If this isn't to personal... why where you up this late and be honest" He asked me. 

  
I was fighting with myself a bit. _Should I tell him or not. Practically it doesn't affect him, but Adora is his friend to so I would only be fair_. "Well I was spending my time to myself thinking about my current situation, nothing weird I assume and decided to visit Adora. But I wanted to get some privacy while I was doing so. I just wanted to make sure she is still alive or whatever. After I stayed there for a while she became restless and moved around tearing up and stuff. I didn't really know how to handle it but I eventually mastered the situation. She woke up... so firstly she is fine, but she is also sleeping peacefully right now so I would really appreciate it when you guys would visit her in the morning. After that incidents I just walked around looking for a place to rest and here we are" I explained to him.   
While I was talking his expression changed so much. From interested to concerned to shocked to relieved to some kind of fondness I don't know.

"Thanks for being there for her... I hope you know that you're not alone...anyways I hope you can get some rest...Good night" He said slowly exiting the room. "Good night... Arrow" I said back waiting for him to close the door.   
When he did so I sighed out loud. "Ah talking with people is exhausting. especially when it is this kind of conversation". I never liked talking I was more a person of serving actions. It just suits me more I guessed. 

  
_At least I had a place to sleep now so I shouldn't worry about that anymore. It was just so much._  
After a sleep that felt like the best sleep I ever had, I turned around hectically just for me to notice that I am no longer a part of the Frightzone nor living there. Guess I should get used to this now. I stood up and walked to the open space in my room, so I could watch the sky.   
The sun was high above the horizon so I must've slept very long. Why did nobody woke me up by now? The Horde could have attacked already.   
I stepped out of my room and looked to my left and my right. Nothing. _Actually everything here feels so unreal that I start to believe I am still dreaming or whatever. Aaughh. I hate this so much why is it so weird._

  
I stepped back in my room and start with my usual morning routine. _Back in the horde we had strict schedules. But here? well that's something different._ I looked around for a hair brush. _I never brushed my hair, but Adora always did. I mean from where would she get that hairstyle of hers? This hair poof looks so ridiculous on her._

  
It was war. My hair really hated me, but in the end I won the battle and now they seem at least a little bit tamed. I walked over to the sink in my room and brushed my teeth.   
_I always liked my teeth. They were white, shiny and very sharp. But the most important thing now was... What should I wear? I couldn't wear my horde uniform. No I couldn't do that._  
I opened a few drawers and found something I could wear. I didn't knew who's belongings those were but according to how they looked like they belong to nobody anymore, so I ripped some things so they would fit my style more.   
  
More confident than yesterday I stepped out of my room still wondering why everyone is so calm and careless about the situation. _Is that how they handle things here? Damn that is not how I imagined it to be. I mean Adora isn't like this either. So what is happening right now?_

  
I decided to look into Bows room just for me to find it empty as well as the halls. _Okay? I have no Idea where I was walking this castle was a freaking maze. Actually why am I overreacting like that. It's probably nothing. Also Glimmer and Bow are probably with Adora since she must've woke up today._

  
I opened a few doors to make my way through this castle not knowing what I was doing, when I suddenly burst into a meeting. Everyone was looking at me. Also it seemed like everyone was there. Why did.... actually Nevermind I should stop asking about it they are all weird.   
The queen coughed in her fist to get the attention back to her.

"Catra... that is your name is it not?" she asked firmly. "Yes it is" I replied motionless. She turned her head away "Glimmer I trust you with this mission. You will lead. Take the guards and trustworthy princesses with you and make sure we will recognize the Horde before they attack. Work out the plans" The queens said standing up talking to Glimmer which listened to her carefully. 

  
I could feel a stare from across the room but I was polite to ignore it, very well knowing from who it was. Everyone seemed ok with it and the queen walked in my direction leaving the others behind, who were detailing their plans now.   
"Mind if we walk a bit?" she said. I know this was rhetorical question so I said nothing and just followed her down the aisles. The guards made movements to come along, but the queen waved them off, saying she wanted to talk to me alone. I was a bit nervous, because I had no idea what I should expect.   
_A punishment? Death?_

  
"It must be quite a conversion for you... I just wanted to make sure you don't get to overwhelmed by the situation, because we need everyone in the fight" she said. I thought a bit before I answered. "I am actually very confused... There are just some questions I want to get answered, but they can wait. I am concerned about how easy you all take the situation and that is the only thing that makes me go crazy right now" I said.   
"Well that is just the way we try to handle it... There is also another point I wanted to talk with you. You and Adora... we all know she is the only reason you are here now... alive. I don't know any details but you used to be close in the horde. She thinks very highly of you and you mean very much to her...what I am trying to say is.. she seemed very off in todays meeting and until we don't know any exact information about the hordes plans, I can't risk a distracted Adora. She is our best strategy planner and we need her fully focused." she explained.   
I was confused why she thought I distracted her in the meeting. _I mean maybe she was just tired, after all she just woke up from a long sleep where she had to fight whatever_ , but I didn't complain about it.

"I don't ask you to ignore her or to never look each other in the eyes, but keep the distance for now that's all I am asking for" she pleads. "I understand the matters.. I will respect your asks" I said. At least I have a excuse to not talk to Adora or interact with her at all.   
She smiled at me fondly and turned on her heal saying I could whether go on the mission with the team or go train a bit. I decided I want to get out of here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry Lazy me took over but here is chapter 17 for you guys. I hope you enjoy it!  
> Stay fit!
> 
> I'm gonna add my Twitter later I have a meeting today


	18. Let them go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> origin of Catras headpiece

**Adora**

* * *

Right after the queen and I talked I wanted to talk to Catra about what happened yesterday. Actually I just wanted to see her and if she is doing ok. But that plan didn't work out as I planned because soon the other princesses took me to their room, which was Mermistas room.  
I mean I was really glad I was back and that they worried so much, but I had a strong feeling I wanted to flee as fast as I could. I soon realized I was talking them down just so I could escape and look for Catra.

_I shouldn't do that they are my friends and they were really worried. I should pay them respect and be their friend too. Catra can wait for now. She must._

  
"You know you could have told us about your plan, we would have come with you" Mermista said. "Yeah we knew you would come but we hadn't enough time to actually figure out a plan with all of us, besides we didn't really know if what I felt was right or not, so It would've been a waste of time if it wasn't the way I felt. Also it was better this way so you all could at least protect the castle, while we were gone" I explained to them. 

  
"Nevertheless... you better tell us the next time, so we can cover for you. And maybe take me with you so I can kick Horde butts" Frosta said punching her hand. "We don't wanna lecture you Adora, but we weren't even sure you would survive that. You have no idea how you looked like" Perfuma said with a weird looking smile on her face.   
"I know I know. But I am here right now and I am glad I am... come here guys" I said opening my arms for everyone to join. We ended up hugging us all in a ball of people. "Okay we better go to the queen and talk about out next plans for the upcoming attack from the horde" Mermista said. 

  
"You are right though, come on guys" Frosta said enthusiastic. I just smiled and shook my head.   
While we were making our way to the meeting room we pick up some other allies. Soon we were almost the whole residents of the castle, beside the queen and her guards. This fight is going to be very serious I can already feel it. 

  
We arrived a few minutes after and sat on our places. I was wondering where Catra is, but she probably is resting or something like that. "Okay first we start with what Glimmer and Bow found out in the meeting, while we were in the Frightzone" I suggested.   
Glimmer stood up from her chair and explained. "The Horde has used the time to recruit more soldiers. We assume they took people from nearby villages, because that would explain, why they keep losing residents. They also have some new weapons and transporters with which they'll probably will attack us, but it is better when Bow explain that to you" Glimmer sat down and Bow stood up instead.

  
"The Horde is preparing for something bigger than just attack Brightmoon they created weapons with which you can set free shock waves, which can turn off any kind of magic" Bow stopped for a moment, so everybody could cope. "So that means our powers will be unuseful in the fight?" Mermista asked a little annoyed.   
"Me and Entrapta are working on shields against them, but we have to find one of the roboters before we can configure them". "Did someone say we have a mission?" Frosta yelled standing up, looking like she slept until now.

"We didn't say anything about a mission Frosta maybe pay attention next time sleepyhead" Netossa said.   
All started giggling for a few seconds. They continued explaining things, but it didn't matter how much I wanted to focus on this meeting, my thoughts always turned back to Catra. 

  
_Is she okay? Why isn't she here? How will she react to all of this? Does she wanna change sides?_

  
But the Queen Angella started talking and I tried to focus again. "Okay this are more information than we got before. It is a start, but it is still not enough. The Horde grew and they have enorm advantages. I don't think we have a chance yet so I must admit that Frostas Idea of a mission is not half so bad. We need roboters for Bow and Entrapta so they can inspect and analyze them. We can use their advantage as ours. So-" she got interrupted by the door, which was slam to the wall, by Catra. 

  
_Ah there she is._

  
Everybody in the room stared at her and I saw how uncomfortable she got. I wanted to say something but Queen Angella was faster and gave Glimmer the responsibility to lead the mission. I watched how Angella and Catra went out of the room. I watched the door even when they were already closed.   
"I think now that we have a plan we can spread out in bigger groups. first question who is going ?" Glimmer asked. Spinerella, Netossa, Frosta, Mermista and Perfuma raised their hands. "Okay that should do it. Bow you stay here with Entrapta and prepare everything. Adora you will help me work out the strategy" She said and I nodded. 

  
Bow and Entrapta left the room and we started planning. "So I think its better if we would divide everyone in small groups so if we have to flee, we do that in our groups" Glimmer explained. Everyone seemed to like that idea. "Frosta and Mermista, Perfuma and Spinerella, Netossa and Adora. I lead the way and if anything happens I'll teleport. We can use the communication dots, to keep in touch over distance" I was surprised by Glimmers leading quality. 

  
She did a good job. Everybody nodded in understandment. "When do you think we'll go?" Perfuma asked. "Its a little before noon, it will take a bit time until we detailed the plan, so I think we will make our way on sunset" Glimmer said. "Until then we have to stay alerted. Stay close to the castle. You can train or anything else. Now you all can go. Adora you stay here with me" She ordered.

  
I was not surprised by that. Back in the horde I was never allowed to have free time with the others, except for breakfast, dinner and when we slept. I was always kept and had to plan. I barely got to train with the others.

  
When everyone left the room except me and Glimmer, I walked over to her and we examined the surroundings of our routes. It was exhausting. I couldn't really focus. I just wanted to talk to Catra and make things clear. I wanted to make her comfortable around here and everyone.   
When Glimmer gave me permission to go, I almost ran out of that room. It was afternoon and I needed to do a break. I walked back to my room cleaning my face up and walking out of my room on my balcony. I sighed loud. 

  
_I wish it could be easier_. I was so exited and nervous about talking to Catra today that I never even thought about how I will do it. _Would she even listen to me? Catra is stubborn and I know she is still mad at me._

My view slid over the forest until The sky met the trees. A slight breeze was blowing my bangs out of my face. It looked like it was about to rain this evening. _Was I talking about easy? Ha here we go. Maybe we could use the rain as a advantage. At least it would be good for Mermista, so she has infinite water source and Frosta as well. I have still a few hours left maybe training will make me think clearer._

I made my way away from the balcony. My head hurt. I felt dizzy.   
I had to hold on to something near by. I couldn't see because everything went black for a moment. I heard something crash to the ground but I could only see it when the blackness vanished. 

  
_Catras headpiece? Why is it in my room?_

I knelt down so I could pick it up. Turns out I stood up too fast and got dizzy again, but without the blackness. I held it in my hands, slowly brushing my thumb over the slight dusty material _. I remember exactly the day I got her this._

  
Shadow weaver was like always holding me back, while the others were going on a mission. I hated being separated like that. I never told Shadow weaver, because I already knew the answer to this. It was a normal day in the Frightzone.   
I was training on my own, until Shadow weaver came into my training room to show me something really important. I followed her and we landed in her chambers. I was looking around. I have never been here with permission.

There was a a black bowl in the middle of the room filled with something I could not yet identify.   
I was keeping the distance. Shadow weaver stepped in front of the bowl doing some weird motions. After she finished she command me to step closer. The steps were small. I looked over the ledge in the bowl. There was a weird looking liquid in it. I tried to step away but Shadow weaver didn't let me.

  
"You have to look Adora" she said. I focused my eyes back on the bowl. The liquid began to produce bubbles and it boiled. Shadow weaver was forming something in it and then she held it in her hand. It was a belt. I gave her a confusing look.   
"This is a belt" she said. _Yeah I can see that_. "It was made out of a rare material and is meant to protect you if you wear it. It won't save you from physical pain or injuries. The belt will protect you from your inner demons. That depends on which effect you want on the ancher. I know very well that you are something special. You have power and we don't want that to get damaged do we?" I only nodded. She handed me the belt.

  
"Shadow weaver! you will be needed in my chambers immediately" Hordak screamed over the screen. "Make sure you wear it when you leave the Frightzone" She said and rushed out of the room. I looked at the belt.   
_depends on which effect you want on the ancher. So I can make them protect physical and mental health?_

  
I stepped near the bowl to look in it. There is still something left. Maybe if I form it differently. While I formed the liquid, it gets more firmer, with every move I make, I think of how I want the anchor to be used. It should protect. Not only mentally like mine.   
After all this forming I had it in my hand. _A headpiece_. And I already knew whom I am giving it to. 

Holding it in my hands after all this years, made me happy and nostalgic. _But why did she gave it back? I mean I never told her about this anchor stuff._ While I thought about it I looked at my belt. 

I always wore it. Not when I sleep tho, but I always feel how my doubts and insecurities crawl up my body when I take it off. _Maybe that's why I don't sleep in_. I won't ask her about it. That would only make her question more, if she talks to me at all. 

  
I layed it down again and stood up. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes for a second. "lets get started" I whispered. Soon I wore my training clothes and was practicing in the courtyard of the castle. One thing I really loved about this place. Is all the light and space you have here. Not like the Frightzone, where it was always dark and where you could not get any fresh air until you would go further outside of the Frightzone. You can see the sun, hear the animals in the Whispering woods and most importantly, you can feel it. The warmth of the sun on your skin, the cold breeze of the wind. 

  
That's what I would call freedom, if you forget about war for one solid second. "blowing off some steam?" a voice asked me. I turned around. Perfuma. "Yeah kinda" I said punching the air with my staff. "I can feel you have many negative emotions boiling up inside of you, your chakras are blocked" she confirmed. I looked at her confused.   
"How.. what are you trying to say here Perfuma?" I asked while doing some more punches.

"I think if we want to do that mission, we better make sure we are all focused and you are clearly not" she said. "Excuse me?" What is happening here. "I didn't want to offend you, but maybe training wont make you feel better. I would like to invite you in one of my sessions. You really need to relax" she said. I sighed. 

  
"Yeah you are right" I added "But let me finish this little session first please" I said she stepped back and nodded. I grabbed my staff tighter and vertical in front of me. I closed my eyes and breathed in.

Then I made a step forward and swung the staff with me and leaned it horizontal close beside me. I circulated it in the air and made the same step as before but in the other direction and then I hit the dummy. I repeated that until I thought it was good enough. "I think that is my time to call it and leave it like that i wont get any better today" I said desperate. 

  
"Here come with me" Perfuma said and pushed me by my wrist. After a short amount of time, we finally arrived at Perfumas oase. She has a little spot on the castle for herself. The queen gave permission to this, because Perfuma don't just used it for herself. Everyone was welcome here to relax. I have never been here tho as you can tell. It was a small garden like inner courtyard in the castle.

  
There were mere entries to the oase. From above was water coming down to a blue pond, with fresh and clean water. The entire area was covered with green grass and wherever you look there were of course flowers of all kinds. "You better take off your shoes. Feeling the gras under your feet gives you a better connection to this place" Perfuma said walking to the spot right in front of the pond. 

  
She didn't even wear shoes.... and as I started thinking about it, I realized she never wore shoes in the castle or around it. As she said I took off my shoes and placed them on the floor before the entry. "Okay so what exactly are we practicing here?" I asked trying to prepare for what was coming. 

  
"Okay so first this isn't anything about practice or work or anything like that... its about letting yourself flow. You have to let go of all that stress and goals you have. Everything that makes you doubt or think to much. Something that keeps bugging you. Think about it one last time and then cut the "connection"" Perfuma explained. I looked at her with a raised eyebrow. 

  
"Yeah and how am I supposed to do this?" I asked and laughed bitterly. "Like I said. Think about all your doubts, thoughts, goals you recently have, stress you have, or even worries. then take them into your mind and absorb it like a sponge and then wring it out like one" She said closing her eyes. I rolled my eyes, but closed them shortly after. 

_My doubts and thoughts and worries huh. That's gonna take a while, because there are a lot of them. First there is me not being able to save everyone, not being the She-ra they deserve, not having a purpose. Having a destiny feels good sometimes. What even is my destiny or purpose after war, what if I can't stop the war, what if I make it worse. What is supposed to happen to Catra, how does she feel about all of this, is she going to stay here, what if she turns against me like I did, what if she hates my guts and she never wants to talk to me again, If I can't clear things between us. What if she gets hurt because of me...okay that's dumb she can take care of herself. Everything is changing and I can't do anything against it._

  
"okay I think I have them in mind" I said to Perfuma. "And now... let them go" she said exhaling loudly. 

  
_**Let them go.** That reminds me of what Light hope said to me when I went to crystal castle to get to know more about She-ra. You have to let go. In that moment I didn't knew what she meant by that. But now I do. If I want to save the world and if I want to win this war I have to stay focused. I must. Nobody else will be able to stop the horde. Everyone is relying on me. I have to let that go. Stay confident, stay strong and most importantly let go of Catra. The last part scared me. I don't want to let go of her. But I must for the sake of everyone's safety. I just can't concentrate when she is around or when she is in my mind. I have to let her be from now on till the war is over and we won. But nevertheless I have to talk to her before I am willing to do so. _

  
"Done" I said finally after a few seconds or maybe minutes of thinking. "I can feel you had struggle with a few things while doing that, maybe want to talk about it. I know you still hold on, on a important thing that keeps ghosting around in your mind" she confirmed. 

  
"You really are born for this aren't you?... maybe I talk to you later about it its really necessary that I talk to that person before I let go of anything" I said honestly. "I understand that but you should hurry we go off in a few hours or less and by then you should be ready maybe come back to me then, I have a shoulder you can lean on if you need it" She offered me a smile. "Yeah I know... and Perfuma.... Thank you... for all of that. It really helped" I said throwing back that smile of hers. 

  
She nodded and I went back to my shoes to put them back on. On my way to Catra I tried to prepare me. I didn't even knew for what I tried to prepare me and I didn't know where I should start the conversation. I guess I am letting it come how it come. _Don't make yourself freak out Adora you got this_. I walked through different aisles in the castle and then I saw her. Sitting on the window sims looking outside and in thoughts _. Okay now or never._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is chapter 18 guys. I hope you are still on this story. I think most of my readers already quit reading this because the uploads are messy. Anyways I hope you are all feeling well and that you doing fine. Stay fit my lovely readers <3!
> 
> Josi out!


	19. chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Catra and Adora finally talk things out...do they?

Catra

* * *

The Queen explained that the mission will be starting a little before the evening when the sun is starting to fall. I was not sure what I was supposed to do with my new free time but I didn't have to think about that for long because then Netossa and Spinerella showed up and took me in. 

I knew one of them from before. Netossa was the one who talked to me in the first place. About all that "I know your type" stuff. Ignoring that lecture, she seems like a really cool person. It was fun watching them argue about who had won in the competition. I didn't know what the competition was about but it kinda reminds me of something. 

"So Catra... we don't want to overwhelm you with all of the recent events but how are you feeling about this. Netossa told me about your little talk yesterday?" Spinerella asked me. She was genuinely worried about me, I could tell by the way she was vocalizing her sentences. Over the years in the Frightzone you learn how to lie the best to survive there. I knew exactly when someone was lying and when someone was honest. A skill which is very helpful sometimes. _For the start I decided to open up a bit, people seem to react more positively about that here._

"Yeah... ahm. I guess I should apologize for my behavior yesterday. I was in a bad mood and it happened so much. I am still so confused and I try to stay cool about it. I guess I am trying to move on from the events the best I can and focus on the attack on Brightmoon. The coping things will come after that. I think I need the distraction right now" I explained. 

"Everything is alright, I didn't take it personally. We are glad that you try to focus on the fight, we really need everyone to have a clear mind. But by moving on from the events you didn't just mean the rescue, did you? It's about Adora, right? I don't want to cross any lines here, but maybe it helps to talk about it. Adora never talked about you or said anything in all the time she has been here. At least not to us" Netossa said. 

My ego was hurt by that. _She did not talk about me huh? Maybe she just wanted to forget me. It didn't work tho._ "Let's just say Adora and I have a history to share and that's complicated. I just think she'll expect too much from me, now that I changed the sides for obvious reasons. I just can't have a confrontation with her right now and especially not before the attack. I know it will confuse me just more or maybe make me think more about it so I try to avoid her for now" I explained to them. 

"Darling I don't think ignoring her would solve the problems, but I don't tell you what to do. There are valuable reasons for you to do that but think about it. Maybe it will help you have a clearer mind than before. Sometimes you have to take the risk for your own good" Spinerella said. She has such a smooth and soothing voice. 

"I can't really do anything... I must do what the queen has told me. I would only distract Adora and Adora would only distract me. It's not like I have much of a choice there" I said. 

"You'll always have a choice darling. The queen just wants to make sure both of you are focused on the attack, but as far as I know Adora she wants to talk things out before she goes head forward into that fight. In today's meeting, she was so distracted by something and it was almost like she was searching for something or someone. As you were barging in she immediately lit up like a lighter and was almost about to say something but then the queen took you away and she was zoned out again. She really wants to talk to you" Netossa said. 

"Is she always that observing and creepy?" I said with a weird smile on my face. "You will get used to it.....Listen we do not want to make you do something you feel not ready about... but don't immediately say it's not an option" Spinerella said, head turned to Netossa. I sighed. 

"If this turns out to be a bad idea, you both I make you responsible for the impacts on the fight," I said pointing at them. "I can handle that," Netossa said. Spinerella laughed about it and I smiled at them. They seem like a happy couple. In this cruel world, it seems there is still hope for peace and happiness. Maybe even for me. _I should talk with her. They are right_. 

I said my goodbyes and thanked them for the nice words. I did not know where Adora is right now, but I will wait she will come for me eventually... _she always does_. I went back to my official room and looked in the mirror. 

_This stupid headpiece_. Adora gave it to me. She never said something about its powers but I knew. I knew because I followed her that day. But I don't think I need that anymore. _If I want to be mentally strong then I have to be that without that. It's time to break the rules_. 

I took it off and laid it down on the sideboard of my bed. _No_. I know where I have to put this. I went to Adora's room and placed it right on the little desk near her balcony. _It's a statement_. _Maybe she gets it_. 

I stood there a little longer than I had to. Just to breathe in the scent of her room. It smells so familiar. Painly familiar. When we were back at the horde I used to snuggle with her, whenever I had problems with sleeping. I always felt safe with her. She had that effect on me. 

Sadly that feeling turned into anger and despair. _And now? What do I feel? In all that time I have been here **(almost 2 days)** I never thought about how I feel. Do I feel safe? lost? No_. _I felt appreciated for the first time. Everyone here is so welcoming and warm-hearted. It's... so.... different from what I grew up with._

I smiled, threw one last look at the headpiece, and left the room. The halls were so shiny that I could see myself in them. _I must say I do look good without that thing in my face. But also very tired_. I decided to walk around a bit get used to the system here. I walked past a window and the view caught me. Again. It's just so unnatural for me to see the sun and smell the fresh air. _I think I stay here and wait for Adora._ It calms me.

 _Steps... It is her... I could tell_. I was looking outside of the window still couldn't get enough of this. _The steps got slower_. Adora was nervous. _She's hesitating_. Just when I thought she would turn around and leave again I felt a slight tap on my shoulder. 

I turned around. It's the first time I saw her close to me since she finally woke up. She looked exhausted, anxious even. We just looked at each other. Taking the other features in. "So.. uh... Hi... ehm I would have contacted you sooner, if I had had the guts and if the others would have let me, but I was kinda busy getting things with them clear. Okay, I don't want to find excuses here, this conversation is starting terribly...not how I expected" she exhaled loudly. 

Okay. I never saw Adora that anxious about anything. She was sorting her thoughts. " I am not allowed to be here with you," I said. That made Adora get out of her trance and look at me. "What?" she asked confused. 

"Queen Angella kind of forbid me to talk to you or interact at all. She wants you to have a clear mind and that I would be a distraction. Kinda reminds me of shadow weaver" The last part was whispered, but according to Adora's face she heard it. 

"Come on let's talk somewhere not so open," I said grabbing her wrist. I led her into my room and closed the door behind us. "Wow, you really getting into this, since when do you have a new room?" She asked looking around. 

"Yesterday. Bow was so friendly, but that's not the point here" I said standing still in front of the entrance. She smiled desperately at me and sighed silently. "Okay but give me a second I need time to sort myself... So... I am confused about us. And before you comment on anything here please let me finish first" She started and I nodded listening patiently to what she had to say. 

"When I defected from the horde We were enemies for one month. I didn't get to see you only one time back in the woods. You spied on us. It was hard but I had no choice. And I know what you're thinking everyone has a choice. Yeah, it kinda was my choice to defect, but if I am being honest, getting the choice whether staying in the horde or saving lives, we both know what I would have always chosen. It's just how I am. I have to find my place in this war and do the right thing. At this time I missed you so bad. But I was always trying to remember myself for what and for whom I am doing all this. That sometimes kept me going. 

Then after finally rescuing you, I was so happy you made it. But then your breathing got worse and I thought you would die. I got as fast as I could back to Brightmoon so they could get you into the infirmary. After a short amount of time, I woke up in your arms at midnight. I was confused we were enemies to that point still even if I rescued you, in this one month I lost all my knowledge of reading you like I used to, so I was not sure how you reacted and I remembered you looking at me in hate and disgust the day we parted in Thaymore. 

But this look was different when you held me that night. I needed the comfort you gave to me but you said you are still mad at me. The next morning I wanted to talk to you again but I never got the chance to talk to you. I just wanna ask you something and then you can ignore me again. What are you thinking about this? I am still not sure if you are officially a part of us or if you want to stab me right away. Please Catra tell me. I need to know. Do you hate me?" I listened to her all the time examining her facial expression and gestures. 

_Do you hate me? I seem to give the wrong signals_. _Or maybe Adora is just very oblivious._ I let out a dry laugh. Adora looked at me confused. "Okay okay wait let me get this _straight_ okay... you really think I hate you?" I asked. 

Even if I think it's funny it also kinda hit me when she said that. _Am I really that mean to her?_ "Well yeah... I guess... I don't know that's what I am trying to figure out right now" she said smiling shy. I exhaled loudly, grabbing my forehead. 

Okay, that was kind of much to take in. _But still, how can she actually assume I hate her? I remembered the first days after she defected... yes I was angry, I was hurt, I was lost and I felt empty... but I could never hate her_. _Besides this whole month, I was in a coma so I couldn't develop my "hatred" feelings towards her properly, in fact, she risked everything to get me back, to save my life, and to make sure I was alright._

She always did that. It's just so Adora of her trying to protect me at any time at any moment. I used to get very annoyed by that. I always thought that Adora would do that so I felt kinda useless like I could not take care of myself. It took me some time to realize it's just a complex Adora has just like I have my abandonment issues. 

I realized that Adora was still waiting for an answer and she looked at me patiently. We hold eye-contact until she would look away. 

Chicken.

I laughed without making any sounds. "No..." I said breathlessly. Her head spun back to and she searched for my eyes to meet hers. "I do not hate you, Adora... I could never. I am actually kind of glad I was in that coma... because I don't want to know what would've happened if I didn't were. I know I was shattered when you left, that's for sure. I mean you just left. I had no control over this situation and no say in that scene at Thaymore. I guess it was just unbearable for me to actually lose you. I thought you left me, I thought I was not good enough for you to really stay with me. That was the time I realized for myself that I drove you away, just with how I am." Adora knitted her eyebrows and scoffed, but I continued. 

"I lash out and get defensive, aggressive even when people I care for start to not pay attention to me. I get lost in myself and say to myself I am bad. I am bad for you for anyone who thinks I am worth their time or love. And then I start to push them as far away from me as possible. It worked for a long time when I was younger... but never with you. You would always try to get through to me, not caring if I bit you or scratched you. And then I hung myself to you. The only person I was ever able to open up to. And in that very moment at Thaymore that was suddenly taken away from me."

I explained. _Wow, I said more than I actually wanted... Truth doesn't hurt I guess_. I felt something roll down my cheek and I did no effort to wipe it away. I was not backing down. If we are having this conversation right now then just like that. 

"You changed so much" Adora only said looking at me with these heartwarming eyes. My stomach warmed up. I gave her a confused look. 

"I don't know. it seems like you are so much more grown...These past days were giving you all the answers you needed. How you now see the world and how you're acting is so... nice. Back in the Frightzone, you would never take your time to understand other people, you were reserved and holding everything in. Even still this year. But now... maybe I am getting way too much into this, but either way... I am so proud. Proud that you jumped over all your "morals" trying to do the right thing" She gave me the most beautiful grin she has ever made in her entire life. 

"You are such a sap" I tried to cover my heartbeat. I was actually waiting for a backtalk instead I felt her strong arms around my waist, pulling me closer in. I was a little overwhelmed by that the first second but immediately pulled her in my embrace. 

I hold on to her like she would disappear just if I would loosen my grip only a slight bit. I breathed in her scent and let the warmth of the hug sink in. _What is just happening in our lives... first I almost die then Adora almost dies in an act to save me from dying and I helped her with Razz's help to wake her up again. Guess we just can't let the other one die_. 

I laughed at the thought. "We really can't bear the thought of the other one being dead," I said laughing. "As if I would think about you being dead, I would totally save you in time anyways" Adora laughed. "Dork". 

As we pulled back I started to miss it already. Adora was always able to make me love things I actually hate. She could just jump into the water and saying I should join her swimming... I'd do it... and I absolutely hate water with my guts. 

"Are you ready for the mission?" Adora asked. "Ready as I'll ever be"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so so sorry. I can't really excuse me more. I am just so lazy. It has nothing to do with my mental health I just have no motivation to write. But don't worry I will continue to write at some point. I won't let you hang. Just be patient with me. I really hope this chapter made it worth waiting. Stay fit guys and wear your masks!
> 
> Josi out!


End file.
